Thursday, February 21, 2013

Dear Dollar Rent-a-Car,

Hey Dollar-

I've been doing my best in being cool and patient, but here's the thing:  all I want to do is rent four vans for four other people, and pay for all of them. 

I have no idea why this is complicated.  But you said it was, so I went with it.

I set up a corporate account, like I was instructed to do.  Several days later, when I was informed that I actually needed a purchasing card account, I set that up too.

I faxed you the info you requested, emailed to make sure the fax went through, and didn't hear back for a day, at which point you let me know you didn't receive it.

I asked if I could scan and email the info, and was informed that you only accept faxes, because they're more secure than email.

I faxed the info again, emailed to make sure the fax went through, didn't hear back for a day, at which point you let me know you didn't receive it.

I faxed the info again, emailed to make sure the fax when through, didn't hear back at all, emailed again, didn't  hear back for a day, and learned that you had received it, but it still took a full week, and the minimum, to process.

Although you told me I could make my reservations and add my account info later, I tried to do so, and was informed that I could not do so.

I wanted my week, emailed to see if I was now, three days before my event, able to make reservations, and was informed that I was.  I called the phone number in the email you sent, and was informed that my Corporate number wasn't enough to make the pre-payment arrangements, but that I also needed an authorized billing code, which you did not provide me.  I emailed to request said number, and still haven't heard back.

While waiting, I decided to check online rates, to see if they'd changed from three weeks ago, when I started this process.  I logged on, entered my Corporate code, and found that each van was almost $200 more per week.  I started the process over, did not enter any Corporate code, and found that the same vehicle is the same price that was quoted to me three weeks ago, $200 less than the corporate rate. 

I called to find out why the Corporate rate was so much higher than the regular rate, was placed on hold for 11 minutes and then hung up on.  I called back, was placed on hold for an additional 8 minutes, during which I send Dollar a Facebook message.  Here's what they said:

According to Dollar's website, the non-corporate rental would also include unlimited mileage.  Other companies I've worked with include a free additional driver as well...but that doesn't matter, because we don't need additional drivers.

At that point, I was also connected to someone on the phone who told me that had I chosen to work with Thrifty, (which up until this moment, thought was the same company, as each email that I've exchanged with Dollar has the same email signature that says:

 "CONNECT WITH US, @DollarCars, @Dollar4Business, @ThriftyCars, @ThriftyBiz")
...I would have been able to secure the lower rate, no problem, but I could not do so with Dollar.   

The fact that supporting a company by setting up a corporate account with them may lead to rates that are double than they are for some random family visiting LA for a week in hopes to run into Miley Cyrus is info that would have been really valuable at the beginning of the process............................................ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SOLUTION IS, APPARENTLY, JUST WORKING WITH THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR COMPANY.

That's my first yell of the process...I was nice to everyone on the phone, promise.

So at this point, my only options are:

1. Make a reservation with my Corporate rate code, pay double what it would normally cost, and drive to LAX to be there in person, because I still haven't been provided with the required authorized billing code, or

2. Make a reservation without my Corporate rate code, save a bunch of money, drive to LAX to be there in person to use my card, and know that if I have any issues, I'll have to work with people who don't email back (either in a timely manner or at all), who withhold really important information until the end of the process, who give me conflicting information, and who leave me on hold for 15 minutes, or

3. Make a reservation with another company for the same price as the Dollar non-corporate rate, drive to LAX to be there in person, and start the process of setting up a corporate account with said unaffiliated company, because literally anything will be better than dealing with this for the past three weeks.

Spoiler alert...I went with option 3.  

No love...but I really tried, 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I do not use toilet seat covers, however...

...every time I close the bathroom stall door, I pull out a toilet seat cover, crinkle it around a little, and drop it in the toilet, just in case someone else is in there, listening, and judging whether or not I use a toilet seat cover.

I know it's crazy, but bathroom judgment is the worst kind of judgment.  I do it all the time, and expect that others do it.

And do not try to tell me that toilet seat covers do anything.  I read the research.  They don't.

The end.