Let's talk about how much I hate "nostalgia" Facebook posts.

Two posts in one week?!  I know, right?  It's like "does she even have a job anymore?" 

Answer: YES.  But the hatred of these posts was enough to cause me to take a quick break.

Here's something I hate: Facebook's "WHEN I WAS A KID" posts.

Why do I hate them, you ask?  There's no good reason.  I just see them and immediate think "AARRRRRRGHGHGHGHGHHGHHHH WHYYYYYY"

For example:

NO MAN.  When you were a kid, you didn't have to say "Don't try this at home" because you actually didn't have to, because it wasn't legally required.  But then you and your dumbass kid friends tried so effing many things you shouldn't have tried that there is now ACTUAL LEGISLATION REQUIRING companies to say that.  There's actual law saying that when you see a commercial that shows a guy frying up some bacon with two talking dogs on the literal face of the sun, companies now have to include a "don't try this at home" disclaimer because people in your generation ACTUALLY TRIED THAT SHIZ AND PROBABLY DIED. 

Well your "social network" sounds TERRIBLE. When I was a kid, my "social network" was called going to parks and hoping to see friends there, but half the time, never seeing them because you couldn't text them to see if they were coming, and then it rained on me, because I couldn't check my weather app, and there was probably a child molester across the street doing things to his body while looking at me because I couldn't check up on my Megan's Law app.  SO YEAH, "OUTSIDE" WASN'T SO GREAT, WAS IT.

 AND IT SUCKED THEN TOO.

THEN YOU AND YOUR KID FRIENDS USED YOUR IMAGINATION TO CREATE GAME APPS, DOWNLOADS AND DVDS FOR KIDS TODAY, SO THANKS A LOT, YOU ASSHOLES.
That did feel good to yell, I have to admit.
But seriously, who decided you either get imagination OR technology?  I choose both.  When I was a kid, you could have imagination AND VHSs AND cassette tapes.  I CHOOSE EVERYTHING.

 Wait, were you a kid in the 1780s?

Sorry that when you were a kid, mental health care hadn't evolved enough to help people with real issues and provide care for chemical imbalances, past trauma, and all sorts of other shiz WHO ACTUALLY NEED HELP.  BUT THANKS FOR CALLING THEM NAMES AND DISCOUNTING THEIR ISSUES.


 I was trying not to yell in that last one but I got too mad.

OK YEAH I DID A LOT OF THAT TOO AND MAYBE ATE IT LATER BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT WHEN YOU WERE A KID, IF THEY'D HAD MOTHER EFFING IPHONES, THAT YOU'D  HAVE REALLY REALLY WANTED ONE????!!?!?!?!?!?!



Posting shiz like this is tantamount to 60 year old professionals posting these memes that I just made up:

We all hate the post office.  ADMIT IT.

There's no reason to hate kids for having things that you didn't have, but FOR SURE WOULD HAVE WANTED IF YOU'D KNOWN IT WAS A THING.

Cauli-crust, baybeeeeee!

This is sad and true.  Although I can't speak with certainty on when "war" the card game was created, so maybe not true.

YEAH.

*I think I'd like a job in making terrible memes and posting them on Facebook to see how much traction they get.  Who's hiring in this field/what should I update my skill set on LinkedIn to reflect this desire?*

Anyway, let's all be like "I had fun when I was a kid, and kids today also have fun in a different way, because the world is different!" and be done with it!

See you in six-ish months!