Monday, January 31, 2011

Ode to My Lost Keys

It's more of an homage/ode, not really a rhyme scheme/ode.

I thought you were lost forever, cay keys. I hated you for that.
Then you turned up in Mindy's boot. It made no sense, but a little sense.
Sorry about that.


Also, it was kind of nice to not have keys yesterday, because I was forced to walk to breakfast, which I should always do, then caught up on like 11 hours of TV. With keys, I FOR SURE would've gone shoe shopping, because I dreamed about shoe shopping, and it was so awesome.



(these aren't an accurate depiction of the actual keys or boots...I just went for it)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

January goal...continued after a moment of deep breaths

I needed a moment to say what I just said in that last post. Thanks.

When I Googled "Budgets Suck," nothing came up. Same results with "I Hate Budgets." I went with just "Budgets," and got this:


I don't really think it applies, unless I'm the pilgrim, and the turkey is all the food I won't be eating out again, ever, until I get like three side jobs, or a second income in the form of a another person just giving me money every month.

So I set up a monthly budget on mint.com. I recommend it...if you feel like you have to set up a budget, that is. I MORE recommend just living totally recklessly.

I mean, it was only like 2 hours ago that I was living totally recklessly as opposed to living with a budget, but I'm really missing those times.

There's a reason I waited until the 25th of the month to accomplish this month's only goal...it was mildly devastating to see how much I make vs. how much I HAVE to spend each month (like fixed things...rent...insurance...so many more etc.s...). And you can't really forget that, right? I mean, I guess time will tell, but I'm pretty sure that every time I have a totally unnecessary pair of shoes in hand at DSW, I'll just picture this budget, cry, and leave, empty-handed.

Unless they're like $11. That's in the budget.

Not like I didn't see it coming.

But to see what I have been spending on isht that should've been going to pay down student loans/car/everything was THE worst. And I'm saying it's THE worst on a night when I spent almost 10 hours traveling, didn't eat breakfast or lunch, and was conned into watching TWO basketball games (ok, not the whole games, but some of both, which counts).

I did almost cry at one point when I thought my monthly fixed expenses were more than my monthly income, but then I realized that I input the wrong income. Thank goodness.

But really...do we REALLY need car insurance? Or cars at all? I was, at one point, basically convinced that I need to sell my car, give up cable TV forever, stop going to the gym and start only eating whatever other people have leftover when I go out with them but don't order anything.

I'm ok. I'm ok?? I'm ok.

I just wish I was like...I don't know...8 again. Not really 8 though, because I can't remember if I got an allowance at 8. Actually, I wish I was like 17, before I had bills, when my parents paid for a lot of my food, and when I had bangs. But with this same salary. And without the bangs.



My bangs ratio was the same, but Zooey D is much, much cuter. Seriously. Picture braces, no makeup and less cute. And none of you have any room to say anything, because none of you knew me then. Boom and roasted.

January goal

Oh man...January's goal is accomplished. I set a budget. It was horrible. I'm super pissed to be an adult right now.

This HAS to be for the greater good, right??

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dear self,

Two things today, self. First, please stop wearing these shoes just because they are so cute. They hurt real bad, and it's the only time you've ever decided that it's not worth it to wear them, so just stop wearing them, instead of deciding not to wear them, forgetting, and wearing them again.

Second, stop leaving half-consumed mugs of coffee on your desk for days. You always forget about it until it starts smelling. Just don't do it in the first place.

Best,
Self

Friday, January 14, 2011

Touching up nail polish at work...

Completely appropriate. I mean, I have business that requires my nails look nice. Who's gonna take a girl seriously with chips?

No matter that it's sparkle nail polish.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

2011

This is THE year. I can feel it. Here's why:

I don't know. I just feel it.

New Years Resolutions

So I'm generally on the ball with these things. Not like "go me, I'm the best," but I feel like I take them seriously enough to follow through with them. Remember the No Shopping Challenge that got me into this thing in the first place?
Last year, for example, was The Year of Hugs. I can't tell you (America) how much I hate having been known as "not a hugger." Here's the reality of the shiz: I'm not a hug initiator by nature. It's just not my first thought to hug someone. Maybe it's because my fam isn't a huge hugging fam...I don't know. Who even cares why, right? But that doesn't mean I HATE hugs. Just because you don't write me a thank you note doesn't mean I think you're "not a note writer," or that you HATE thank you notes. But sometimes, you feel like you have to tell people WHY you didn't think to hug them when they got back from the big trip, and then assume that you hate hugs so much.

I don't hate hugs. I'm just a hug receiver.

Anyway, after a lifetime of people taking that to the next level, it got to be real awkward, because people would hug me, then apologize, or pre-warn other people NOT to hug me, which is even weirder. So anyway, 2010 was the Year of Hugs. I hugged the hell out of people, all in hopes to eradicate that image. It's been a few months since I've been introduced as "not a hugger," so I'm calling it at least on the road to successful.

That was an unnecessary tangent.

So 2011, I have so deemed, is the Year of Fiscal Responsibility.

What, why? Aren't you a stable, together lady?

First of all, I'm not a lady, because I don't have kids. Second, sure, sort of, but I spend money like I'm a carefree trophy wife.

Not really, but sort of really. I'm WAY too old to not have plans or budgets or all of that stuff.

So here's the Year of deal...every month is themed with challenges in hopes that I will finish 2011 with a more mature, sustainable way of living that also doesn't rob me of all joy. Here's it:

January: The Month of the Budget.
I'm coming up with one. I don't have one already, because I'm like a child.

February: The Month of No Online Purchases.
What can I say...it brings me joy to purchase things while making a list of phone calls at work.

March: The Month of Not the Mall
No mall purchases. Blurg.

April: The Month of Eating Out Once a Week
Again...I'm a little nervous on this one. Haven't been single at 28? You don't get it.

May: The Month of Saving 1/3 of my income.
This is going to be interesting.

June: The Month of No Unnecessary and frivolous gifts.
This one sounds selfish, but one of my internal tricks when I'm trying to save money is to buy a bunch of stuff for OTHER people, because I looooove buying gifts, and I feel like somehow, it's not real spending. I'm like a child.

I'll get back to you about the rest of the month SOON. Wish me luck...or don't. I mean, I don't want to tell you how to feel.

Finally, these two images popped up when I Googled "fiscal responsibility," and I just couldn't' choose!