Two things today, self. First, please stop wearing these shoes just because they are so cute. They hurt real bad, and it's the only time you've ever decided that it's not worth it to wear them, so just stop wearing them, instead of deciding not to wear them, forgetting, and wearing them again.
Second, stop leaving half-consumed mugs of coffee on your desk for days. You always forget about it until it starts smelling. Just don't do it in the first place.
Best,
Self
I don't care what you say! You need to wear those shoes every other day!
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