Tuesday, November 20, 2012


spam letters.  
I easily waste at least at hour a week replying to each spam letter I get.  It is ALWAYS worth it.  Seriously, every time.  I almost always get responses, but even if I don't, I like to think that the time they waste with me saves at least one sweet MeeMaw from getting messed with.

This is totally not true, but it does make me feel like 11% more justified in responding.  The other 89% is "I love this, and I love doing things I love."
From: Mr Gonzo Zongo [mailto:gonzongo@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:16 PM

Dear Friend,

First and formost,I have to introduce myself to you.I am (Mr Gonzo
Zongo.)The Director incharge of Auditing section of Bank of Africa (BOA) in
Ouagadougou,Burkina Faso .I need your urgent business assistance in
transferring an abandoned sum of ($6 Million) dollars left by a deceased
customer of my bank immediately to your account.

If you are interested and ready to partake in this great business
opportunity,kindly send your profiles to me including your Name and your
private telephone number for easy communication.

I will send you the full details on how the business will be executed and
also note that you will receive 40% of the above mentioned amount if you
agree to help me execute this business.

Please for further information and enquiries feel free to contact me back
immediately for more explanation and better understanding . I am waiting for
your urgent response with much anticipation.!!!

Thanks and remain bless.
Mr Gonzo Zongo.


I am concerned for you for a couple of reasons.  First of all, your return email address appears to be someone else’s name—Gono Zongo.  Or perhaps Gono is a nickname?  That may be the case.  Second, the email address you list at the bottom of your message is different that both your name and the email address from which you sent this message.  I’m just worried that someone has taken over your account and is trying to provide me with false information about reaching you.  That person’s name MAY be Gon Zongo, or Gono Zongo.  Or perhaps Gon is also a nickname.  You know what—I’m actually not concerned about that anymore.  Here’s something I am concerned about—safety issues in Burkina Faso.  ARE YOU OK OUT THERE?  It’s just so far away.

Anyway, down to business.  I am heartbroken to hear that a member of your bank has died.  You always think “It will never happen to me!”, but then it does—someone who does business at your place of business passes away.  I can only imagine the pain you and your colleagues are in, knowing that this person will never come into your bank again.  I have, as a personal sign of respect, taken a moment of silence for the passed customer, as indicated here by three “enters.”

That being said (and unsaid—moment of silence, etc.), I would be honored to be the conduit for this lost customer’s money.  Please know that I do not personally have a phone (I am a strong believer that the use of cell phones causes brain cancer, and also don’t use landline phones just in case), so I will be unable to provide you a phone number.  However, please email me the details on how I can assist with this transaction AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  I would be remiss in my duty as a human being if I did not open up my heart and bank account to you and your deceased patron, may s/he rest in peace.

With all the love in my heart,