Thursday, June 19, 2014

The fans' hearts want with the fans' hearts want...

About once a month, I get 2-200 emails letting me know one of my posts is BLOWING! UP! OUT! THERE!  People are leaving the comments left, and they're leaving the comments right!

What a refreshing feeling to hear from the people!

Anyway, it's been a while since I filled you in on what the people want, so I wanted to take this moment to respond to some of the more poignant comment to my professional, highly researched, VERY deep blog from 2010 about a Sacramento area high school's student government elections. 

Small sidenote--you know that song Money for Nothing, Chicks for Free?  I grew up thinking it was "Love for Free."  #aw #different




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Dear Anonymous-

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out.  What a wonderful boon to my day to hear from you, someone who's taken the time to read my blog from 2010.  I must admit, though, with some embarrassment: I don't know who you are.  The hazards of posting as Anonymous, am I right?  But you reference "our discussion," and I've just been discussing so much lately that I'm having trouble placing THIS discussion.  

I did try to visit YOUR blog to see if I could determine who you were, but came up empty.  May I make a couple of suggestions?  First of all, perhaps the name of your blog is a little too confusing?  I'm missing the reference, if there is one.  RCA...stereo equipment...that little dog and the grammaphone...?  Anyway, just a suggestion.  But second--and really, more importantly--asking anyone to visit your blog without linking it is a tactical error.  

Just a tip.

Have a great week--looking forward to our next conversation, I'm sure!
Shannon




Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Money for nothing, chicks for free": 
Like all warts, they are harmless growths which will probably go 
away by themselves or with minimal treatment, but 
their location and the amount of pain involved makes them difficult to ignore.
The result is a necrotic wart that eventually sloughs off.
Consult your health care provider for warts that are painful, appear infected or increase in number.

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Dearest Anonymous-

Quick question--what about this blog post made you think I suffer from warts?  Just want to be sure I clear that up (pun intended...upon second edit) before I go much further.  For the records (all of them), I haven't had a wart before.  

Also for the record--as you seem to really care about this--I'm having a hard time reconciling the "harmlessness" of warts with the pain--if they do end up being painful, I'd say that they are also harmful.

In conclusion, please don't say "slough" again.

Best--
Shannon




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Dear Anonymous--

When I wrote this blog, I (unknowingly) had you in mind!!  I thought to myself "Shannon, you've just been a part of something bigger than yourself.  You've GOT to document this for the world!  People out there are thinking 'If I were to have run for office in high school, whatever would my posters have looked like?!', and you must be the one to provide that info!  It's not out there...this is an untapped market!"

What a data INDEED.  What...a...data...in...deed.

You're welcome, 
Shannon

PS--see above--my blog title/link advice is free to you as well!




 Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Money for nothing, chicks for free": 
This completely depends on the type of warts 
infection a person is suffering from. It got to the 
point that I was tired of looking at and dealing 
with them. He hated the taste of the sour lemon juice so much, 
he stopped licking his paw.

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Dear Anonymous-

First of all, please let me know what is making people think, from this high school visit blog, that I suffer from warts.  I have re-read it a few times now, and can't see to find the link.  But clearly, something is making you think I have them.

I do not have them.

It's fine if people have them...I just don't.  In your words--I'm tired of looking and dealing with them.

But seriously--if he hates the taste of the lemon juice, stop putting it on his paw.  That doesn't even make sense.
Best, 
Shannon



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Listen, Anonymous: 
F*&% YOUR FAMILY.  THEY HAVE NO IDEA. 

Have a great week, 
Shannon




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the other experts of this sector do not understand this.

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Dear Anonymous, 

Thank you for finally giving this post the kudos I've always known it deserves.  At night, I wonder tomyself "Why isn't 'tomyself' either a--a word, or b--corrected by autocorrect?  It seems really clear what I was going for."  Then, after that, I wonder to myself "Where the hell are the experts of the high school election sector getting their information if not my blog?!"  

Because REALLY--REALLY really, there isn't a lot of other research out there!  Trust me buddy--I've looked (just now via Google).  Mine has the best illustrations.


Chat soon--I've got some world of warplanes to download!!
Shannon






Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Money for nothing, chicks for free":

Also known as Condyloma, the genital wart is a sexually transmitted disease giving rise to wart shape bumps on the sexual organs. Users of plant medicine experience rapid elimination of genital warts without scarring or recurrence.

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 Anonymous-

OK...I'm beginning to think that all of these effing wart posts are from one person.  KEEP YOUR WARTROL TO YOURSELF.  Keep it.  I don't have the warts you think I have!!

Shannon






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Dear Anonymous, 

Hi yourself, you little dumpling (this was how I was referred to in an email today--just testing it out.  I think I LOVE it)!  So glad we've found each other.  

It seems like English may not be your first language.  Forgive me if I've made an incorrect assumption...but I feel like when you say "prooportion," you may have meant to be propositioning me in some way?  Suggesting we keep in touch?

But seriously, is this blog post up on AOL?  #dreamcometrue

AAaaaaAaAaAAaaaanyway, I am excited to get to chat with you about high school elections, because, as I recently discovered via Google, I believe I am an expert.

"Looking ahead to look to you" 
^ this is so lovely.  I will suggest all my friends use this in their wedding vows.

Shannon

PS--I do have a quick question about insurance.  I'm familiar with insurance in the past, just not insurance lately.





TO MY MILLION READERS, WARTS WARTS WARTS WARTS!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, March 13, 2014

#missing #plane #malaysia #people #are #nuts

Did you guys know that there's a plane that's missing? 

You did.  We all know you did.

Anyway, I have (also) heard all about the missing plane.  Here are some things we can agree on, for sure:
  • there was a plane
  • it's gone
  • we don't know where it is
  • it's weird
Here are some other things we can agree on:
  • no other things; see below
I REALLY love it when people get all up in arms about any major news story, because it invites the crazies to come out and GET! INVOLVED! on the exact same platform that we normal folk use.  No longer do we have to roam the streets at night to find "The End Is Near" foil-capped population...just check Facebook.

Case in point--I spent my lunch break today on The Today Show Facebook page, just loading and reading more and more comments posted on their article about the missing plane.  And now, I share with you, the gems.

The post: 


WHAT ENSUED:

 Thank you Judy.  Your theory is noted.


IS ANYONE HEARING THIS?  GARDOSE HAS THOUGHT OF A WAY YOU GUYS HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF TO FIND THE PLANE!  SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE THIS DOWN.


I get you, Candy.  It's like "So many news stories about things happening in places!  OVER it!"  Am I right??


Was just wondering what Shera Warde was thinking about this...but that second reason...seems pretty important...I mean...you don't have to post the comment until you remember it...and you don't have to let us know that there was another reason that you don't remember... 
...LIKE!


 Kizz as a point--if terrorists got the plane, let's give credit where credit is due.


"I mean, that's for sure the MOST logical explanation.  Right?  Like, what else could be more logical than the plane having an undetected poison gas leak, everyone being affected by the poison gas in the exact same way at the exact same time, the poison gas that's only toxic when breathed affecting the plane's radar, communications, tracking, etc., the plane crashing, and there being no debris?  Right?  Am I right?  But I guess, like, who even knows.  But that's the most likely scenario, probably."



 "UUUGGGHHHHH."


First of all, Karla, "every post" on "every page"?  Come on.  If you're going to fake credibility, at least go with something that's humanly possible. 
"You want to know why I'm posting?  BECAUSE I HAVE WRITTEN EVERY ARTICLE ON THIS TOPIC.  There, that's why." 
Second...this is a pretty detailed, strangely personal theory that you've bought into (read: created in your mind, alone).  And third, really??  This is what you "hope" happened?  I think I speak for most of us when I say that we "hope" everyone is alive and well somewhere, laughing about all of this, just relaxing for a while before showing back up on the radar.  That's what I "hope," Karla.


Ah yes, that's probably what happened.  You know, that thing that happened in that Lifetime movie?  The one based on the guy?  With the plane?  Yeah, just like that, but then everyone dies instead of everyone living in the end.


With one sentence, Donna has really summed up what we're all trying to say.


IS ANYONE HEARING THIS?  ANN HAS USED SOME WEBSITE TO FOLLOW HER DAUGHTER'S PLANE WHEN SHE'S VISITED HOME FOR COLLEGE CHRISTMAS BREAK A COUPLE YEARS AGO.  HAS ANYONE TRIED JUST LOOKING UP THE FLIGHT STATUS ON THIS WEBSITE?



IS ANYONE HEARING THIS? MICHELLE HAS THOUGHT OF A WAY FOR YOU GUYS TO FIND THE PLANE THAT NO ONE HAS THOUGHT OF YET, BECAUSE IF YOU HAD, YOU WOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT! 
I mean, you guys, why didn't they call home when the plane was hijacked?  I'm pretty sure that the whole "cell phones don't work at 30,000 feet" thing is null when it's an emergency.


Here's where I would insert a picture of ducks and chickens performing Shakespeare, if I could draw.


 I know, right?  Why didn't we see this coming?
...LIKE!


This must be really hard for you, Linda.  I'm so sorry.


Right???  Like, why even have that thing in planes at all?  Because 99% of the time it works really well, and provides valuable information about a plane's flight path and crash details, so like, what's even the point of having it?


ALRIGHT PETER.  Alright.  Enough.


That's...that's not really productive, Dee.


Really, Mariella?  THIS is why you're afraid?  Because you think that on an hour flight abroad, your plane, its crew, passengers, luggage and everything else on it would vanish to the point that the entire world would be waiting on pins and needles for any information pertaining to the possible cause of the incident?  THIS is what keeps you off planes?


 You guys...I think Linda may have had something to do with this.


 Yeah, but how loudly were they hijacked? 
...LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE


Oh, really Jamie?  YOUR theory?  You just read the facts and came up with that theory?  You didn't, maybe, hear it somewhere, like...I don't know...everywhere?  You just were like "I think I got this..."?  Really?


 Thanks Kathy--now we know.  HEADS UP, ALL.  SEE KATHY FOR INFO.


Shut them all down, Tshombe. 
Wait--you didn't actually give it to us.  Bring it back up, bring it back up!


IS EVERYONE HEARING THIS?  ANNA IS ON THE SAME PAGE AS EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT PROVEN FACTS ABOUT THE DEBRIS, OK?


I KNOW, right?  I mean, if one plane goes completely missing for the first time in a hundred years and it's the first time anything like this has happened with this type of plane, we have GOT to get the message that what we have to track planes is NOT sufficient!  The fact that the technology works on 44,999 of the 45,000 flights that take off per day (cite: ask.com--legit!) shouldn't lead anyone to believe that it ACTUALLY works.

And finally...I couldn't bring myself to screenshot the DOZENS of comments just like this one, but let's all hope that no one is saying things like this to the families wondering where the hell their brother ended up.
"Remember it?  So your brother is probably fine on an island somewhere!  But you probably won't find him for like eight years, and he might die...or join a group of rebels/bandits/terrorists/scientists...and he might already be in the future...or the past...wait do you believe in smoke monsters?"

Saturday, February 8, 2014

just the handiest lil spaghetti squash tip ever

Within one year, I went from not knowing what the hell spaghetti squash is, to taking extreme offense at a veggie that would dare to emulate my favorite pasta, to being curious enough to try, to giving up the dream because cooking it was so annoying, to trying one last tip, to wild success, to a deep love of spaghetti squash.

Complicated, I know.

But once I got inspired enough to buy one, I became immediately uninspired by the sheer number of "best ways to cool a spaghetti squash" with 15 steps and steps in between steps and so much time.

But I can't help it--the stuff is so good, and the perfect sauce conduit, which is really all pasta is too, right?? So I tried a bunch of different ways, combined a few, and found the best one.

If you've ever struggled with the deep desire to eat but the lack of motivation or understanding or time or anything that's making you not prep this tasty little dish, I swear to you, this easy cooking method will make life so much better.

1--get a spaghetti squash (this may be harder than you think--somehow I first came home with acorn squash first)
2--cut it in half (use a big knife...and sometimes you have to swing it really hard)
3--scoop out the guts of the halves (seeds and slimy strings)
4--fill one half of the newly scooped squash with water (like a poorly crafted boat)
5--put the other half of the squash back on top of the half full of water (to make a whole squash again)
6--place the water-filled squash in a glass dish or on a plate in the microwave
7--microwave on high for 10-15 minutes (the larger the squash, the closer to 15), until you can squeeze the top of the squash and it's soft

BOOM. Done.

But it's hot...so be careful.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Replies to my faithful blog follower comments

Friends, I have been truly blessed by your comments.  To see that my blog posts about my dear, dead Uncle Williams have touched so many of your lives has warmed my heart.

Update: I have yet to receive the inheritance that was promised me, but I have faith that it's coming soon!  I did, after all, send my Western Union form!

Back to the comments:  If only I was able to reply to each of the hundreds of wonderful, very related-to-my-blog comments I receive each day!!  But I would love to take the time to reply to these few, very relevant, very thoughtful, very thought provoking comments regarding my post.


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "More e-spam...OR...I'm about to get RICH":
Every person who love their garage and doing work in a long period of
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Dear Anonymous,

Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for you taking the time to reply to my blog.  I can tell that you truly understand my plight from your thoughtful, eloquent commentary.  Without even me saying it, you know that I am a girl who LOVES her garage.  For me, it's more in theory, because I don't have a garage, but sometimes, late at night, when I'm alone, I'll be lying in bed, thinking about a garage I may have one day, and just loving it.
 
In those fantasies of mine, I'm constantly doing work in a long period of time, and my garage is looking better, because of the cleaning of stains, and harsh solvents, and I can apply garage floor paint.  It's just so...I don't know...fulfilling...to be so involved in the upkeep of my fantasy garage!

But here's something I am never able to come to terms with--HOW do I even PREPARE my concrete garage FLOORBEFORE the garage floor paint is preparation of the floor more difficult??!!

If you could just explain that, I'd be so grateful.

Thank you!
Shannon


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "More e-spam...OR...I'm about to get RICH":
It always only means that, if it is not started gradually.

Patients with eczema have skin that is exposed to light, the less
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you'll want to perhaps use the oil at least for the first time you try it.

The Mayo Clinic reports that as we age, the fatty substances,
as well as other snack foods.

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Dearest Anonymous,

Thank you for this information!  I really resonate with your opening sentiment--I am always starting things gradually to ensure that it doesn't always only mean that.

I am a little confused, though, as to what in my post made you think I have eczema.  I...do not have that.  I am not really sure what it is, even.  But it doesn't make a lot of sense to me that anyone's skin has LESS chance of getting tanned by being in the light--from what little I understand about science, this seems like not science.

I'm also a little confused as to the "substance" you're referring to--am I eating something, or using it on my body?  This has really seemed to take a strange turn.

I do really respect the Mayo Clinic though, so I'll work on the snack thing.  But wait--am I pro or con snacks?  It's just kind of hard to tell.  Please clarify.

Thanks,
Shannon




Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "More e-spam...OR...I'm about to get RICH":

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Dear Anonymous,

I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR COMMENTS.

Anonymous...friend...stretchmarks are a part of life.  No matter where they appear (thank you for the list though--you're clearly very familiar with parts of the body--excellent work), even if they're a concern, they're a part of life.  Cutting out large pieces of your skin is a HORRIBLE way to address this concern!

First of all, missing large pieces of skin is going to be MUCH more noticeable than having stretchmarks, because at least when you have stretchmarks, it means that you have skin.  I guarantee that people will be much less disturbed by stretchmarks than they would be by the lack of them, if the lack of them also entails a lack of skin.

Second, and more practically: using a loofah to cut out any amount of your skin is a really, really inefficient strategy.  I can only imagine how much time and energy it would require to "cut" something with a soft, dull, edge-less item. If you really feel like you have a cut pieces of skin out, using something sharper would save you a lot of time, and probably lessen the pain. 

Third, if you're putting aloe and coconut oil in the gaping skin holes you've created..........just don't do that.  That's a big mistake.

Anonymous, I feel like this may be a sign of something bigger than you or I could handle.  You should really consider a visit to the Mayo Clinic.  If you're the same Anonymous as the last Anonymous who posted (it's hard to tell--apparently it's a much more common name than I realized.  Are you guys Greek?), you already know its reputation.

All my love,
Shannon