Friday, February 25, 2011


Dear Shannon:

Thank you for your email response.

We received your request for zipper pull, and we want to let you know that we will be sending it by regular mail. You should receive it within the next 10-14 business days.

We appreciate this opportunity to be of service.

Andrea Baker
Consumer Relations Representative



Thanks, but I'm still changing allegiance to Tumi.

PS: In regards to...

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


This budget is killing me softly!

Not really that dramatic, but still...I liked life more before it. I mean, I might sleep a little better, but I miss buying a bunch of stuff I love all the tiiimmmeee!!!

It has been interesting, though, to see so many cases-ins-points that I had no idea what I was spending on things.

Case in point...I am $24 away from my monthly eating out budget. It's the 16th. Damn it.

Case in point...$80 on gas a month isn't enough. I'm about to get my third tank this month. Worst! Think of the shoes I'm not buying because of this!

Case in point...groceries can be expensive. I exceeded that budget this month, but I knew it would happen, because I hadn't stocked up on the essentials since...I don't know...August? Mistake!

Because of those cases-ins-points case in point...I'm not using my tiny but delightful clothes/shoes budget on clothes/shoes this month...because I've already used it at the grocery store and gas station.

I'm like 65 years old.

Can't wait to get used to this...and to adjust the budget so it actually works.

That dollar is NEVER gonna get finished!!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Here's something I'm never, ever buying

A Samsonite suitcase.

And the worst part is that I LOVE SAMSONITE SUITCASES.

The saga begin-eth: I have traveled for work for seven years...maybe eight...I actually don't remember for sure...but for a while. I enjoy parts of it, but overall, I am tired of traveling for work. It's at its worst the few weeks leading up to travel, when I fall into what I call "Travel Lurgy (travelurgy)" (because it really is highly infectious, since I'm generally a huge downer), and I don't want to talk about leaving, prepare for leaving or even think about leaving.

This fall, that came back to bite me because I had a big trip in November, for which I needed to invest in a new suitcase, as I had to throw my old reliable suitcase of two years away, because it had been "handled" by baggage handlers one too many times. Because of the Luuuuurrrggyyyyy, I literally forgot to get a suitcase. I went looking two times, and was so sad at the thought of leaving town again that I just walked out empty handed. So go time came (two days before I left), and Kate was Grate (get it?) and lent me her suitcase.

I LOVE her suitcase. Perfect size, perfect pockets, spinners (requirement), easy to's perfect. I keep almost buying one for myself, then getting too sad about it. Also, it's expensive. I think Kate got it (I always typo that to say "go tit" and I know one day I'm going to hit send without seeing it) as a gift.

I left town, I used it, it was amazing, I went home.

On the way home, the suitcase was "handled" right out of a zipper pull. I KNOW that a missing zipper pull isn't the end of the world. The zipper is still totally zip-able, and it was the big one, so there are actually two pulls, and the other one was ok.

But that's not the point...the point is that someone really kindly lent me something, and I don't want to give it back sub-par. "Thanks for being so nice, here's something not really nice in return. Have a great day." So mid/late November, I went to get this thing taken care of.

Here's how it went down: Mid November: I called Customer Service, and I was instructed to go into a Samsonite retail store to buy a replacement zipper pull. The retail store told me they don’t carry extra parts.

I checked the website for an answer, and was told that I needed to take it to a licensed Samsonite zipper repair shop. The closest one to me is in Arizona.

On November 23, I called Customer Service to see what I should do. A really nice lady emailed a list of zipper pulls to choose my replacement from. It was a PDF that looked like it was from 1988, full of pixel-ated zipper pictures and part numbers, many written by hand. None of them were in color. That was really helpful.

On November 30, I selected the piece I thought I needed, based on the largely unhelpful Xerox, and emailed back with my order. Sidenote--don't you think I should've just been able to tell them which suitcase I had, and they would have been able to tell me which zipper pulls it had?? I did. I guess that's not how it works. Un-sidenote. I received the standard "we got your email" email, that ends with a "We will get back to you with in 7 days."

One more sidenote. SEVEN DAYS?? We get back to our customers within 24 hours. Come on.

On December 7, I followed up with Customer Service, as I still hadn’t heard anything about my order, seven days later.

On December 8, I was contacted, requesting my mailing address, to which I immediately replied, and I was assured a response within seven days (again).

On December 16, I followed up with Customer Service, as I still hadn’t received any response about my order...more than seven days later.

On JANUARY 7 (more than seven days later...more than seven and seven more days later!), I was informed that my part would be sent within 10-14 business days, that I would be billed $4.50 for shipping, and “If there should be any problems in filling your request, we will contact you.” I gave them the benefit of the doubt and assumed they'd waited the full 14 days, sent the piece likely in the slowest manner possible, and that it would arrive sometime in the month.

On February 10, as I still hadn’t been contacted, I contacted Customer Service again.

Today, February 11, I received an email, letting me know that my part actually had not been shipped as promised, it was now on back order, that they didn't know when it would become available, and that in order to receive an un-matching replacement part, I would have to pay for the part, and pay $5-$7 for shipping.

SO, in a move completely out of my real character, but in this character of someone who doesn't get pushed around by mechanics and who doesn't let strange men into her hotel room at night (another story... I think I might have already told that) that I've really been working on lately, I sent the following email:

Unfortunately, I haven’t had a working suitcase since mid-November, 2010. In my numerous contacts with Customer Service, I have been referred to many “solutions” that haven’t actually led to me receiving my part.

(Basically cut and paste all that I just told you, but more professionally)

I really love my Samsonite suitcase, and as I travel for work, I generally get great use out of it. However, working with Customer Service has been discouraging. I haven’t been able to use my suitcase since November. At that point, I was willing to pay for a replacement part for it to be usable again. However, to wait for almost three months, and to have to repeatedly reach out to Customer Service even though I was assured a response just to be told that the part that I need isn’t available, that there is no date that it will become available, and that I can receive an un-matching part, but I still have to pay for it, and that for some reason, the shipping cost is even higher, is unacceptable. Please let me know if you’re able to send me the un-matching part free of charge so that my suitcase is usable until the part I actually need is available, or if I need to file a formal complaint.

Thank you, jerks,

Just kidding about that last part.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

an ode to this ball

This Ball

I love you like I love other things that are simple and hold my attention for long periods of time. I keep you by my phone as a distraction for angry phone calls I receive. Also, it's kick ass how all that glitter settles so quickly.

The end.

My hand is a terrifying sea serpent!!!!!

Offline shopping

More like shopping is OFFline...for me...ever...

What? I don't know. I just felt like I had to go with it.

So I haven't had my car for a full week and a day now, because something is wrong, and no one really knows what, so my "mechanic's" solution has been to just keep it and drive it around until something happens. I can't even write any more about it because it's so overwhelmingly annoying and I don't want to start swear-typing in case the kids are reading this.

But all of that to say it's nearly impossible to go shopping-in-reality without a car.

Also, I have really enjoyed all of the walking, and ALSO also, thanks to my wonderful friends for never even thinking twice when I ask them for a ride.

So I haven't purchased anything other than groceries all month. I know it's only been 10 days, but that's more than a third of this month, and a big moment for this girl. It's also been such a downer to automatically delete all of my store oriented (storiented) emails without even looking at them. I KNOW I'm missing a big apartment sale at, and I just deleted without even opening a DSW email that was titled "CLEARANCE PLUS DOUBLE POINTS!", which was deflating, to say the least.

I mean, I know that happiness doesn't come from buying things, but I sure am happy when I buy things...soooo...

I'm working on it, I'm working on it.

So when I Google-imaged (one of my favorite pass times) "I'm working on it," the following three pictures came up:

Makes sense. I like it. It's my new tattoo.

Doesn't really make sense, but I like it...but really only Part Two...Part One looks fake and Park Three is too shiny...and also, those neck/shoulder muscles are so narshty...who wants to touch those?? Just imagine my painted-nail-girl-hand on that shoulder is creeping me out. Also, why do those half-men have lady names?

Doesn't make ANY sense, and I am NOT working on anything like this. I can't even say how many things I hate about this. Actually, I can. So much blue. Denim skirt. Creepily tall socks. Shoes from 1998. Sandals and socks. Picture angle from top down. There being absolutely no reason to take a picture like this. Done.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

the isht I've wanted to buy... because it's no online shopping month, I'm sure, are:

--These boots...because I love them and convinced myself I NEED flat replace the other flat boots I have...because their heel is messed up...but also, I never wear them because I like being taller than I really am...

--Coachella passes...even though they're way too expensive. Thank God they sold out.

--This new Robyn album. I LOVE IT. I love it. But even iTunes is online...ergo nokay. But really, check out Fembots. I love it.

--This new Decemberists. I haven't even heard it, but I always buy their music, and always like it.

--This V-day card for my G-ma, because I started wondering if she ever gets V-day cards and got so sad! No worries though...I'll borrow from my eating out budget to buy her a card not online.

--This V-day card for all of my friends (not Jonathan), because it's PERSONALIZE-ABLE!!! Adorbs. I don't even LIKE V-day, but I wanted to buy this, just because I can't.

--This dress for my sister-in-law, although I repeatedly vow to not buy people clothes because I know it is hard for them when they don't like it but feel like they have to wear it, then repeatedly break that vow because I think "I know OTHER people can't buy their friends clothes, but I totally got this!!", even though I'm sure I DON'T got it, because I felt like she would look awesome in this style in which I look so terrible but love, and wear it at Anthro.

--This dress, which I basically already have.

--THIS dress, because it's on sale and although I would be waaaaay too hippy in it, I love the idea of it.

--This frame, because I love it.

Aaaahhhh...I have a problem. But maybe not entirely, because I haven't bought any of it....I just want to. I had a dream about shoe shopping, and it took all that was in me (and all that was in Mindy's boots) to not go.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Fantasy Sports...they're like a fantasy...

...if your fantasy is a nightmare and a waste of time.

I like pretend stuff as much as the next girl who's read all seven Harry Potters about seven times each, but I sure do hate fantasy sports. The only thing worse than regular sports is fantasy sports, and that includes gambling your rent money away on sports.

Yes, I'd rather you gamble away all of your rent money than spend five seconds telling me anything about your fantasy sports team, or league, or whatever. At least when you gamble, something actually happens.

Come on. What other real things have fantasy counterparts? I mean, at least Dungeons and Dragons has dragons.

My brother said that last line...I just really liked it. But seriously--do you all like that the best comparison anyone has to fantasy sports is Dungeons and Dragons???

"Falcour...I choose you to play for the 49ers offense this week...and I give you the power of banishing darkness and a sword with the strength of 10 on touchdown scoring!"

Ha's real clear that I don't even understand real sports (or Dungeons and Dragons) based on that sentence alone. I really tried on that one. But SERIOUSLY...seriously...nothing is more annoying than being with more than one person who are in some "league" together, and hearing them talk about their fake teams, and their fake points, and how mad they are that something really happened in a real game, and how that ruined their fake game.

I mean, just talk about the real game!! At least I can Google that to follow along and contribute.

There is nothing that anyone NOT in that league can contribute to that conversation. "Yeah, when real Eli Manning ran all of those real yards, my fake Eli Manning was so pissed, because he wasn't supposed to run that much in my fake game...arg..."

I'm convinced that it's just a reason for people who aren't in other exclusive groups to be exclusive. "Oh sorry, you can't comment, because you aren't in my league...hopefully I can find a spot for you next year...start brainstorming about your clever team name...No Punt Intended is already taken, FYI."

I'm starting a Fantasy House of Representative league.

"Damn it! I had Chu signing off on the adoption of the Peters Amendment on Tuesday, not Thursday, and that the bill to reduce Federal spending by terminating taxpayer financing of presidential election campaigns would be HE 357, not HR 359. At least I picked Rodney Frelinghuysen to take New Jersey's 11th district. What a wild week in my Fantasy House of Representatives league, "We the Freeple" !!!"

I was also thinking about "Rad-ify","Cam-PAIN Finance Reform" and "Bill of Wrights." But that last one would only be funny if my last name was Wright.