Thursday, May 23, 2013

Is it because "spam" is in the blog entry's title?!

The irony of these spam comments being posted on my spam blog all about spam is not lost on me.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "More e-spam...OR...I'm about to get RICH": :

What i don't understood is actually how you're now not actually much more neatly-liked than you may be right
now. You are very intelligent. You understand therefore significantly on the subject of this subject, made me
personally imagine it from a lot of numerous angles. Its like women and men are not fascinated except it is one thing to
accomplish with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs nice. Always handle it up!

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Dear Anonymous,

Ah, you're too, too kind.  I have also often wondered: how am I now not actually much more neatly-liked than I may be right now?  I mean, I'm neatly-liked to some extent right now, but I would love to be neatly-liked even more than that.  I've had enough of the regular-like...much too sloppy.

I do agree with you on my areas of expertise as well--I understand this subject's subject so well, and why not understand therefore significantly if not to get my dear readers to personally imagine it--it, of course, being the subject of this blog entry, which is, of course, getting spammed via email by some Albanian mobsters, one of whom speaks good English, and the other who speaks very, very poor English--from a lot of numerous angles.  More specifically, I was hoping you'd be able to imagine it from these angles:

--what would I do if it was MY Uncle Williams (first name) who had passed away? 
--am I about to get RICH?
--how much time can one spend replying to e-scammers before one is, herself, considered an e-spammer?
--do you guys like Dateline?


Your own stuffs nice too, Anonymous.  I really think that about all of your stuffs.

Always handle it up,

P.S. would someone out there please tell me why the hell spammers are so invested in my jumping height?!  Seriously.  I'm actually interested.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Facebook Vague-ing (vaguebooking?) and how I hope to end it forever.

When I say "end it forever," I know that even in the BEST case scenario, I'd just lessen it in my own Facebook feed, but what can I say...I'm hopeful.

Vague-ing [vay-geeng] 
a non-word word to describe Facebook statuses that are emotionally charged, intentionally vague, and seem to be solely for attention and sympathy.  
see also: "vaguebooking," and "easier way to say 'vaguebooking'"

I tried to go with "vaguing", but that proved to just be more confusing.  "What's vag-wing?"  Yeah yeah.  It's something totally different...ask your mom.

Anyway, I HATE vague-ing for the following reasons:
  • I hate most things done solely for attention, so I especially hate those things done for attention in an intentionally public forum.
  • I hate that it's so damn evident that it's intentional.  It's SO much harder to talk around an issue than it is to just be up front.
  • I hate that people use vague-ing to seem as though they AREN'T doing either of the above.  "No no, I won't say it...I don't want to burden you all with my trouble." 
 I've been trying to combat vague-ing lately, but the explicit ways seem to fail.  You can't just ask people what's going on, because then you seem super lame for not knowing ("aren't they supposed to be friends?  I can't believe she doesn't know!"), and they typically answer per above ("No no, it's not your struggle! Don't worry!").  You can't be equally vague because it just feeds into what they're doing, and then someone else writes this blog post about you.  You can't delete them because it's just
to get frustrated to this level about something that matters so little...and really, we just all want to know what the hell they're talking about. 

So I've come up with a new solution that I hope will lead to the best of all worlds:

I call it de-vague-ing.

For example:

Your Your De-Vague-ing Comment: I am so sorry...I am sure your carburetor will start running better soon!!  I have some great mechanic recommendations if you need them--just say the word!

Your De-Vague-ing Comment: You can't be mad at a cat for having an accident.  Sometimes, even if you've litter box trained them, they will pee on the floor.  It's not his fault...he's just getting old.  I hope things get easier for you guys!

Your De-Vague-ing Comment: It totally is!  My advice is to start treatment NOW.  The longer you leave things untreated, the more likely they are to get worse, which will make it even harder to treat in the future!

Your De-Vague-ing Comment: No matter what, know that bees serve a really important purpose.  I hate them too, but without them, no pollination, no flowers, no honey...we need them!  Don't lose hope--even if you get stung, know you're serving a greater purpose!

BOOM.  You just got de-vagued!

What I hope this accomplishes:
  • Vaguers having to acknowledge that their status was so overwhelmingly vague that my comment, while it (hopefully?) doesn't apply, easily could apply
  • Vaguers having to explain what they're really bitching about, in order to make sure people don't believe it's actually what I said.
  • Vaguers feeling just a liiiittle douchey.

What this will actually accomplish:
  • My comments getting deleted
  • Me getting unfriended

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Truth in comments

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Advertise Rules I Just Came Up With":

While you may make a sale every now and then by employing these safelists, it is not enough to really make  it worth your while. Totally humble, simply wanted to be a friend, and I knew he'd the missing part - the musicality. The good thing about this format is the fact that other than writing, you do not require any special skill to train on a Word or Notepad program.

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Dearest Anonymous,

Thank you, so much, for reading back to 2010 on my blog.  It means a lot to me that blog posts that only make sense to the people in my office have grown to be so far reaching!  What a treat.  Honestly, I'm blushing right now.

Or it may just be my skin flushing--sometimes I get red for no reason.  Tough to tell if it's that or the blushing from the attention you've lavished on 2010's entries.

What I really appreciate about this comment, though, is how you bring it back to what really matters: the musicality.  When I was writing this post that outlines guidelines that should be considered for posting to our internal advertise list, you know what wasn't on my mind?  The musicality.  And I really think that's what's lacking here.  I'd never considered that "he" (who's "he" again?) was so humble, and trying so hard to be my friend.  If only I'd known--the Advertise rules would have made so much more sense to me, and to my four readers.

But back to the format--you nailed it, Anonymous.  The fact that I haven't had to be trained in the special skills required to use Notepad or Word is the reason I'm doing this.  In fact, I usually write all of my documents and emails in Blogger before I send them, because, as you said, no training required!!

Back to the heart of the matter, though, because we M-U-S-T keep things consistent.  I MUST have a mailer, but I'm concerned that my credit is too high, and I'm concerned about the cost!  Do you happen to have any mailer solutions for me that REQUIRE a credit check, but cost nothing?  I haven't worked this hard to maintain good credit just to have it not checked for free things!!


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Fage yogurt

Hey guys-

No matter how many times you say it on your commercials, no one is going to actually pronounce the brand of your yogurt as "fah-gee."

No one.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

One more reply for this May Day

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The Final Chapter: I got no money from my deceased...":

An outstanding share! I've just forwarded this onto a co-worker who has been doing a little research on this. And he actually bought me lunch simply because I discovered it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this matter here on your site.

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Dear Anonymous,

Thank you so much!  I am so pleased that your coworker has been researching Albanian (?) mafia (??) spam emails concerning deceased relatives' fortunes.  It's a lucrative field, and one upon which not enough has been written!
What a jovial office you work in--find a blog entry documenting my exchange with a scammer and get lunch!  Let ME reword this--where's MY meal?  Ha!
All in all, Anonymous, I wanted to say this:  you're welcome.  You're welcome for spending some time to talk about this matter here on my site. 
The fact that we connected like this really makes me trust you.  I'm going to click that link to your web---site, and I'm going to book a room at the bed and breakfast.  If you know me well enough to tap into my desire for more academic writing on e-scams, you know me well enough to know my sleeping arrangement preferences.