Monday, March 26, 2012

Dear district, please reconsider this name.

I'm reading a student who graduated from Sobriety High School.

This does not look good to colleges.

Dear college,



Friday, March 23, 2012

Dear Computer Insert Key,

Dear Computer Insert Key,

Get off my keyboard. Get off my keyboard forever.

Here's what I want you to be:
--an extension of the already-too-small Backspace key.

Here's what you are:
--ruining my life.

Not to be all dramatic about it, but's what you do to me, Insert Key. You make this sentence where I wrote it but forgot to write the words "sentence where I" so I had to go back and add "sentence where I" so the sentence make sense turn into this sentence:

You make this sentence where Igot to write the words "sentence where I" so I had to go back and add "sentence where I" so the sentence make sense turn into this sentence:


There will never be a time with I want the letters I'm writing to replace letters I've already written. If I want to replace those letters, I will highlight the word and type the replacement. It's easier. It's better.

No love, no respect, no understanding,

Monday, March 19, 2012


I am in my office wearing tights-as-pants and fake uggs-as-shoes.

I'm not proud of it, but I am extremely comfortable.

Don't come visit.

Phone conversation

"I know you mentioned him retaking a test a while back, but we looked into the timing of it all and how long it would take and how long it takes to get the scores, and just decided it wasn't worth it. But he's so interested in getting to your can we make that happen?"

You can make that happen by retaking the test in February, like we talked about. I don't often give students a HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SO I CAN ADMIT YOU BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WANT TO path, so when I do...follow it.

Blurg. I love to love, and hate when the students I love to love can't make it work.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I have a shopping problem.

why am i online shopping for an ipad cover?

i do not have an ipad.

but i want this.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Am I the only one who's happy to lose internet privacy?

Ok, call me crazy, but here's where I'm at:

Google is now checking in on my browsing they can see what I look at...which tells them what I'm interested in...which allows them to target ads based on those interests...which means the ads that I'm already seeing online will now actually apply to me.

Why is everyone so mad again??

It's not like they're adding MORE ads...they're just making the ads I already see actually relevant. I am only excited about this. No more ads to remedy mens' potency problems, cook vegetarian entrees or travel to Baton Rouge...more ads about red wine and shoes and Old Faithful. You aren't taking my privacy, Google, I'm giving it to you.


--You look at porn all the time.
I get that--I wouldn't want whoever is on my computer to see ads for Hardcore Topless Girls on Bikes or Bottomless Men at a Mall (I don't really keep up with porn). They will for sure know what you Google when they're not around (or in the bathroom). That's your own call. Maybe time for a personal computer and a PERSONAL computer?

--You Google your own credit card information, SSN and mother's maiden name all the time.
Ok, that might make me nervous too, knowing that Google is using that on my behalf.

--You always get up in arms about featured stories on Yahoo.
I'm sure this qualifies as a Yahoo feature, so that makes sense.

--You're that girl who copies and pastes other people's status updates on Facebook as long as they claim that "the government" and "businesses" are trying to hurt us.
Again, I can't fight you if you're that girl. This totally qualifies as one of "those" things.

--You think what you do online is private.
Yeah...see above. I'm not going to win any arguments with that girl.

--You didn't read the part where Google promises they don't sell information that will allow someone to steal your identity.
Just read that'll feel a little better, I promise. I mean, sure, maybe a company could steal your identity in that they could start loving everything you love, but not in that they can open a Swiss bank account in your name (no one does that--it's usually the other way around...they take money from your already existing Swiss account/s).

If any of those things apply to you, I know you're aaaall up in arms. But take a moment with me and think about it.

Did you do it? Ads that apply to you?

Do things seem a little better?

It's ok if they don't. I'm always making shiz up, and I'm pretty sure I don't understand the actual changes at all.