Tuesday, March 15, 2016

"Mompreneurs" are ruining EVERYTHING

There are few things that get under my skin more than a terrible combo-word.

One of those "few things" is a terrible combo word that represents a terrible concept.

Enter the "mompreneur," which, in some insane, terrible universe, is a combo word that means "mom entrepreneur."

MY FIRST REAL BIG ISSUE:
"Mompreneur" is a terrible, TERRIBLE, TERRRRRIIIIBLE combo-word.


As all of you OBVIOUSLY know from my previous rants, there are only three rules to make a combo-word work. 

Let's run this one through those rules.

  1. Is "mompreneur" easier to say than "mom entrepreneur"?  Kiiiind of??  I mean, it's fewer syllables, so it's got that part of the rule going for it, but it definitely is NOT easy to pronounce.  Try it.  Literally--say it out loud right now.  It's not easy.  What did you even say just now?!
  2. Do "mom" and "entrepreneur" share a syllable, or have a rhyming syllable that can be interchanged?  Again, kind of?!  Technically, "mom" and "en" sound similar, but do not actually rhyme.  But even with this half-assed attempt, I could almost let this one go, were it not for my MY SECOND REAL BIG ISSUE below.
  3. Does a cool, uninvolved third party know what "mompreneur" means without me having to explain it?  Nope.  Not even kind of.  Direct quote was "Wait what the hell?  Does that mean mom's manure or something?"
So, as you can see with the WIDELY agreed-upon combo-word rules (you know you all agree), this absolutely does not qualify.  Even if it met rules one and two entirely, which it definitely does not, in no world does it meet rule three.

MY SECOND REAL BIG ISSUE:
There was a much, MUCH better, much more obvious option out there, that, for no reason (another assumption that I'm treating as fact, obviously), was not utilized.
Once, I audibly shouted "NO" in a movie theater, because in a trailer for some movie I don't remember and never saw, Louis CK said "You're like male Oprah.  Op-bro."

NO MAN.  HE'S LIKE BRO-PRAH.
It was right there, just waiting for someone to say it.  It was a combo-word dream.  But nope...Op-bro.  Although I respect LCK enough to hope, in my heartiest of hearts, that he did it on purpose.
Momtrepreneur makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE.

"But Shandy, it's too hard to say."

A--that's not even my name.  And B--it's no harder to say than the actual word you're mimicking, entrepreneur.  Did you think moms were too dumb to get it?!

Rules:

  1. Is "momtrepreneur" easier to say than "mom entrepreneur"? Yep.  It's shorter, and it's much more easily recognizable in word form to these old eyes.
  2. Do "mom" and "entrepreneur" share a syllable, or have a rhyming syllable that can be interchanged?  Same as above...kind of!  Technically, "mom" and "en" sound alike, but do not rhyme.  But I'll take this half-assed attempt to support my homegirls.
  3. Does a cool, uninvolved third party know what "mompreneur" means without me having to explain it?  Yep.  Direct quote: "A mom who's also an entrepreneur?" BOOM ROASTED.
 MY THIRD REAL BIG ISSUE:
Are "mompreneurs" actual entrepreneurs?  If yes, why the hell are you making up a weird new word for them?! 
This may just be me misunderstanding the whole concept--maybe the mompreneur hasn't started her own business, or innovated a business idea to fruition.  But if she has...let's go ahead and give her title of any other effing person who does that: entrepreneur.  I don't call doctors who are moms "Moctors" or professors who are moms "professmoms" or body builders who are moms "momdy buildmoms," because it makes it seem like they're a lesser, fake version of what their actual occupation is.  "Oh, she's couldn't make it as an entrepreneur, so she became a MOMpreneur!" 
Stranger: "A what?"
"A mompreneur...an entrepreneur who's also a mom."
Stranger: "Shouldn't that be a momtrepreneur?"
"You know, that's actually a great point."
Stranger: "Yeah, right?"

Long story short, no other branch of entrepreneurial society segregates themselves, so why do moms?  There aren't dadtrepreneurs, or smalltownpreneurs.  Moms calling themselves "mompreneurs" are lessening their status in the world of entrepreneurs for _______________________ (insert reason that I clearly don't know).

"Uh, no, they're making themselves even more impressive because they're showing the world they're moms AND entrepreneurs."
Then why haven't dads caught onto this new trend, and started calling themselves "dadpreneurs"?
"Because that would never result in additional business for them, and would confuse people."
#yup


Listen, I'm all about supporting small business, and independent contractors (largely because of my track record of customer service nightmares).  I don't have a strong leaning on supporting parents over non-parents (probably because me taking a stand on supporting moms in the world before others and because they're a mom actually disadvantages people who've made life-choices like me, and don't have kids), but I can tell you this with assuredness: if I decided I wanted to support entrepreneurs who are women and who have kids, I'd SO MUCH RATHER Google "entrepreneur who are women and who have kids" than some made up non-word.