Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Studio living is a total dream

To all of you who warned me how much I would hate living in a studio: suck it, Trebek.  You were all wrong.

I feel like I need to preface this post with two things:
a--I've been gone for a long time.  It's not because I haven't had anything to's just because I ran out of time for DAYS.  Like, dozens of days.  I'll catch up soon.
b--I just had my first 100 Grand candy bar today.  Why didn't anyone tell me these things were out there????????????? They're like sugary paradise in my mouth.

Ok, back to studio life. 
I moved into a studio not too long ago, and guys...I think I'm going to have a hard time living in anywhere but a studio ever again.  Here's why:

1--When you watch a movie in your studio, you're watching a movie IN YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE.

I can't tell you how excited I was when AT&T introduced "whole home" DVR.  Finally, when I was watching Law and Order: SVU in the living room, I could pause it and pick it up again in my bedroom!  I publicly lauded those amazing future thinkers over at AT&T! Little did I know, studio livers have been living this dream for YEARS, and I, like an asshole, had no idea. 

Oops someone just told me I had melted chocolate on my face, and likely have since my 2 p.m. date with the 100 Grand.  I've moved from true love to kind-of-like.

Anyway, now that I'm a studioite, I can turn on the SVU while I'm sitting on my couch, and then be like "I'd LOVE a snack right now!", walk to the kitchen, coat/bread/fry up some mozzarella (what?!), plate that melty wonder, and STILL BE WATCHING SVU.  And then I can polish off my night cheese, think "Ughhh much cheese...", hop into bed and snuggle up under the covers...and SVU is still freaking rolling.  No pauses.   I could even take an open-door potty break and leave that sucker going, because I can hear every word Elliot and Liv say.  They're mere yards away. 

2--It's totally possible to clean YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE often.  Like...really often.

There's somethings so so so fulfilling about that Saturday where you cleaned your kitchen from floor to ceiling, right?  I live for those moments of "nailed it." It's not often, in my world, that I have a task that's able to be started AND completed on the same day, so a little kitchen overhaul is good for the soul.

Now imagine that feeling, but WITH YOUR WHOLE HOUSE.  I'm living it, my friends.  I have cleaned my entire home, floor to ceiling (very literally--dry and wet Swiffered the floors and painted a chipped patch on the ceiling), four times in the last four weeks.  Why?  Because I can, because it takes less than an hour, because my home is 1.75 rooms.  Then I have the rest of the day to high five myself over and over and over again. 

3--You HAVE to put everything away when you're done using it.

I've never been an especially messy person, but I can't claim Queen of TidyTown either. 

Side note--what a terrible title.  I'd rather be a commoner forever than a Queen in TidyTown.  All I can think of right now is a toilet brush shaped scepter.

So yeah, when I was a "I have a separate bedroom" person, I was known to let things pile up...namely, clothes.  Usually, on the back of my chair, you'd find Friday's outfit on top, and the week's clothes in descending order underneath.  Clothes Mountain (on the far, far outskirts of TidyTown) was a routine issue in my world, and usually was only resolved when my chair was so back-heavy that it wouldn't stand upright anymore.

Guess what?  You can't do that shiz in a studio.  There's no bedroom door to pull shut when you're over it, or when unexpected guests arrive.  Clothes Mountain on the chair in studio means your entire home is a mess.  And the not-especially-messy like myself can't handle that, which drives us to put stuff away immediately. 

"Yeah, my mom always said that it was easier to put things away right away."

You know what the real pisser is?  All of our moms were totally right.  It's so much easier to put stuff away as you finish using it than it is to just toss it and deal later. 

But I'll never tell my mom that.

4--Need _____________?  Sure, let me grab it!  It's 1.5 seconds from where I am right now.


"Oh, I would hate that though...I need open space!" 

First of all, see above--clutter can't happen here.  There are open spaces for hours.  I have more open space in the #studie than in my former two bedroom house.  Second, see below.  It's not's adorably staged.

Just read this whole entry before saying shiz like that, ok?  You're really starting to piss me off.

5--Creative storage is really adorable.

My life has been a series of shelves that I want to stage with photos and books and knickknacks with no purpose.  Guess what, bitches?  A studio is ALSO a series of shelves that are begging to be staged with photos and books and knickknacks with no purpose.  But now I also get to stage pots and pans on adorable wall hangers, pretty bottles of product on the bathroom shelves, and chones/belts/nail polish/ohdontforgettheiron on closet shelves.  It's paradise.

In summation: if you're exactly like me, a--let's be friends!  Why haven't you connected with me?!, and b--you should move into a studio.  You're gonna love it.  Seriously.