Thursday, November 19, 2009

more isht to not buy

So I wrote this one on my last night on travel...but didn't have internet at the Condotel, so here it is...late...but who cares...because I'm finally home!!!!

By the way...the no shopping challenge has taken me to some strange places.

So my week on Oahu was no big deal, because I literally had not one second of free time to even try to go shopping. My few days on Kauai was easy too, because they don't really have malls or shops there. They do have a lot of free-roaming chickens, though. But I've been super-ready-to-be-home on the last two islands, and I got some bad news about sweet g-ma Faye, and those times are the times that aaaallll I wwaaannnntttt in the world is to buy something (everything).
Also, I ran out of clean chonies on Wednesday.

Weird--I thought I packed enough, but apparently, I did not. Why do I always pack the day I leave?

So I got out of my last high school visit early on Wednesday (because of a security lockdown--awesome. I was locked in the library with no students, and after ten minutes, the counselor came back and had security escort me to my car. I have no idea why. But there were six cop cars there, and all the buildings were chained shut. Did anyone hear anything about King Kekaulike High on the news??), so in my last pair of cleans, I ended up at a mall. And this was after I tried to waste enough time until my flight with a shave ice. No luck. The mall was not a very good one, but somehow, I ended up in American Eagle (??), and bought five pairs of awesome undies. I'm tempted to post a picture, but who knows when President Bob might find this, right? And you know I'd think of that every time I saw him.

So I left, $25 lighter, and was overcome with guilt. Like serious, serious, want to go to confession even though I'm not Catholic guilt. I haven't bought anything at a mall (or anywhere but the grocery, really) for myself since...I don't even remember...the first week of September?? All I could think was about how I ruined the No Shopping Challenge, and how horrible that made me. Yikes. I was basically like some sort of crazy person.

So I took them back.


With no cleans in my suitcase, I returned them. Interesting looks from the lady who'd just sold them to me. I told her that I bought them for a lingerie shower, but realized that I actually needed to get another size...from somewhere else.............

I got on the plane, made it to really creepy condo-tel, and the next morning, as I was fully prepared to go free-balling, I found two pairs that were hidden because they were black and looked like suitcase.

It was as though Jesus was like "Good job on the No Shopping Challenge. I want you to wear underwear today and tomorrow. Here you go."


  1. I think you should add a clause to the rules that necessities like chonies can be purchased.

  2. So my dream led me back here and all I can say is thank you for making me laugh my ass off until I cried.