Another reason I will inevitably die young (borrowed from my Facebook, with permission)

I opened a card at 2:00 to find that it contained a candy bar, which, clearly, I ate immediately. Someone just asked me why I got it, and I just realized that I had no idea, because I never even pulled out the card. I mean, the card could have said "Dear Shannon, I hate you, so if you eat this, you'll definitely die. Hope you do! Love, Tina" (I don't really know any Tinas) and I would've never known. My thought process was just this: "Oh, a big envelo...CANDY!!!!!!!" And that was it.