Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I'm almost home, and I can't believe I didn't write anything this whole time, so here's some things about traffic and the radio.

I can tell you this much...I have successfully filled every instant of time I've had out here on Fall Travel, as not to completely lose my mind. But that means I've been neglecting writing down these funny occurrences. No worries though, because I made several voice notes along the way to remember to tell you all several things.

First of all, let's just put it out there--I've been traveling in Hawaii. And it's for work.

"Wow, it must be soooo (sarcastically) hard having a job that takes you to Hawaii, I'm soooo (sarcastically) sorry."

Well, jerk, it is hard. I mean, there is no more pretty place to be completely, almost overwhelmingly busy, but really, travel out here is completely, almost overwhelmingly busy. Here's a typical day on Oahu:

--wake up between 5-6
--get ready (don't shower unless it's the third [or fourth] day)
--sit in two hours of traffic
--visit a high school
--sit in more traffic
--visit a high school
--high school
--high school
--find a place with free wireless
--answer emails for a couple hours
--meet up with students/parents for interviews
--sit in after work traffic
--college fair
--light traffic

You'll notice there's no beach time in there. And yes, I have had a Saturday and one and a half Sundays here, and I've spent them doing Naz church things. I have been at the beach for a total of two hours in the 11 days I've been here. They were a good two hours.

Here's the silver lining--although I'm generally tired to the point of having to drive with the windows down, everyone here is soooooo eeefffffffffiiinnnggg nnniiiccceee...even when I'm running around like a crazy person, I love these people. I mean, I love them to the point of feeling like I could live here someday. And if it were not for the friends that so kindly let me pretend like I live with them, I'd legitimately lose my mind. They are the best, and if I were to be so lucky as to have a second set of parents, I'd fight for these guys.

And the food is so good. I want to be in a place where "salad" actually means "macaroni salad."


Radio here, if you remember from last year, is awful. This time, in addition to playing awful music on an awful look, the DJs are really mean.

For example: the other morning, these DJs were talking about some celeb divorce, and a lady called in. I assume they thought she was going to offer her opinion about Hollywood whatever, but she was not. Here's exactly how it went down:

DJs: Hi,

---hold on hold on...this is better with a picture of them. Like most DJs, they are HILARIOUS ALL THE TIME EVEN IN PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

DJs: Hello, [whatever radio station]?
Caller: Hey, are you guys still giving away tickets to the Holiday Concert?
DJs: Uhhh...not until 7:10.
Caller: Oh, ok. Thanks.
DJs: [hang up] Wow, someone hasn't been listening.

Of course she wasn't listening...I wouldn't have been either, if I hadn't left my iPod in my room.

But they got even meaner when a girl called in again, also not to contribute to their conversation.

DJs: Hello, [whatever radio station]?
Caller: Hello?
DJs: Hello?
Caller: Uh hi, can I request a song?
DJs: No.
Caller: ........what?
DJs: [at this point, they hear the radio in the background, at which point most DJs nicely ask the caller to turn down the radio] Oh wait oh wait, turn up your radio in the back. We want to hear ourselves.
Caller: What?
DJs: Turn up your radio!!
Caller: ...can you play Just the Way You Are?
DJs: No, we're going to sing, then listen to ourselves on your radio.

The DJs proceed to sing the first few lines of Just a Friend, then pause, listen to themselves through the caller's radio through the phone, then laugh, then hang up. I turned off the radio at this point. But I'm pretty sure I can guess how the conversation went between them:

Boy DJ: We are hilarious, and very awesome.
Girl DJ: I can't believe that young caller didn't realize that radio shows are broadcast with a slight delay, and was so stupid that she wanted to hear herself on the radio.
Boy DJ: I know. That's so basic...I learned that in Radio Show Hosting 101 at my local community college, where I got 11 units toward my AA.
Girl DJ: And to think, she wanted to call in to request a song! What a young idiot.
Boy DJ: At least we are professional morning show DJs and handled it professionally, but with utter morning show hilarity.
Girl DJ: I can only imagine the thousands of people who tune in every morning just to hear what wild antics we'll be up to next.
Boy DJ: And I'm sure they were laughing as we mocked that child for not understanding radio and for trying to request a song!
Girl DJ: They were laughing, and then laughing some more, and probably will Tweet about it later today.
Boy DJ: Truly!
Girl DJ: Let's continue to share our opinions about celebrities, and maybe someone else will try to call in with a legitimate request, and we can show them!
Boy DJ: Oh, we will show the hell out of them!

Something like that, at least.


  1. I HATE RADIO TALK SHOWS. I really do. They are never funny and always annoying. Blegh.