Thursday, August 15, 2013

The least helpful live chat of all time

I know everyone is supposed to hate the California DMV, but honestly, I haven't had an issue with it.  It's busy, yeah, it's crowded, yeah, you have to wait, yeah, but you know it going in, so it's not like you can't prep for it.  Just bring a book.  I'm for sure that girl who, when people complain about the DMV, say things like "well maybe make an appointment next time," or "I've never had an issue with their customer service..."

Anyway, I was cool with the DMV until JUST now.

I need to renew my license (PS--aren't they supposed to send you something about that?  The only way I knew because some bouncer in Vegas was like "Wow, you just have a week left to renew."  Thanks, stranger who isn't the DMV.), so I went online, filled out a bunch of stuff, clicked "renew," and was told that I don't qualify for online renewal, and to file a mail renewal.


No reason why.

Whatever.  They don't owe me reasons.  I got your back, DMV.

So I clicked the "Contact Us" link, and was given the option to call OR live chat with "an agent."

I'm not sure why I always go for the live chat, but every time it's offered, I try it first.  88/88 times, it just confuses the issue.  Here's the conversation that ensued:

Agent 13:
Good morning! Just trying to determine how I become eligible to renew my license online
Agent 13:
Your license for what??

*This was my favorite part of the conversation, because of the sheer incredulity that Agent 13 displays.  "WHO GAVE YOU A LICENSE?!"

Drivers' license
Agent 13:
Here is their website,

*It was at this point that I knew that Agent 13 was not, in fact, an auto-responding-robot, like I often face on these live chats.  No robot would end a website with a comma, and no robot would direct me to the website on which I was chatting with said robot.

I've filled out the form, but it told me I'm not eligible, so I'm wondering how to become eligible.
Agent 13:
And if you should have problems with their site you can contact DMV 1.800.777.0133.

*There was about a two minute lag here while I waited for the agent to get through my sentence, realizing that I did not have any trouble with the form.  Also...why is there a chat support option if the chat support's role is to direct me to the website, then the phone?

Agent 13:
Call their number.
So there's nothing you can do to direct me?
I'm at work, and unable to call.

*Half true...I am at work.  But seriously, Agent...if I wanted to call "them" (isn't it "our"??), I wouldn't have chatted you.

Agent 13:
Go to their website and click on contact us.
Agent 13:
And see where that leave you.
Ha ha that's how I got here!
Chat Session Ended, Goodbye. (5010)

*1--Take a moment to appreciate the grammatical prowess of "And see where that leave you."
2--Take another moment to appreciate that Agent 13, someone paid to represent customer service for a statewide organization, just told me to "see where that leave you."  Save time next time, and just lead with "I'm uninterested in trying to take a moment to find the answer to your question...figure it out."
3--Final moment to appreciate how I just got chat-hung-up-on.

Of all the bad customer services experiences I've  had, this is easily top five.  Thanks, DMV.  I'm now on board with people totally hating you.

1 comment:

  1. I have had frustrations with online renewal as well because they kept sending my renewal forms to an old address even though my DRIVER'S LICENSE had my correct can my driver's license issued by them be correct, but my address be incorrect in their records? I changed it on my next visit to the DMV...same thing happened the next year. Whoever had "changed it" hadn't really done anything when I came in. I fricken hate the DMV. Plus there was a lady sitting next to me wht a box with holes in the side and something alive in it and I don't know what it was and it was crowded and there was nowhere else to sit and I kept thinking of horrible thigns that could be in the box.