LivingGroupon

Listen, can you all just keep me posted on Living Social and Groupon? I think I have to unsubscribe, for several reasons:

6 (I'm starting with 6 because there are so many more reasons...I just want to highlight these few because work is busy this week): ALL OF THE EMAILS. Seriously. I generally really hate things that require emails every day, but I get it--these daily deals are DAILY...so it's part of the deal. But seriously...several emails a day? That's abusing the system, LivingGroupon. Get the hell out of my inbox.

11: I AM NOT GOING TO BOOT CAMP. I'm not going to boot camp. I may have thought about going before the emails, but the fact that every other day's "amazing deal" is a discount on boot camp makes me think that no one is going to boot camp, making boot camp extremely desperate, resulting in boot camp forcing itself upon all of us. The only thing worse than the thought of going to boot camp is the thought of being the only person at boot camp. Also, most of these "deals" involve camp being held in a park, or at the beach. It's not fair to make people pay that much if you don't even have any cool equipment or facilities.

16: I CAN'T USE A COUPON ON A SERIOUS MEDICAL PROCEDURE. This may be just a mental thing...but showing up to get Lasik with a print-out coupon deal makes me very nervous. See above...why are you so desperate to laser my eyes open??

21: THESE AREN'T ACTUALLY GOOD DEALS. A two hour sailing lesson should be like $20, so the fact that it WAS $100 and NOW it's amazingly $80 isn't selling me at all. And I'm that girl who leaves a sale at Bloomingdales thinking I saved money on the $60 dress just because it used to be $440. You aren't even fooling THAT girl, LivingGroupon.

23: THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THESE DAMN THINGS. Groupon...ok. I can sign up for Groupon. What? LivingSocial too? Ok, I guess I can do LivingSocial (since their first deal was to Santana's). Sign on San Diego Daily Deals? Really? I thought Groupon and LS were taking care of local deals. I don't know...wait...six other "amazing daily deal" sites?? Stop it. I was mad about the initial one-email-per-day thing...I can't handle 11 "one-emails-a-day."

29: STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO SPEND MONEY I WOULDN'T NORMALLY SPEND. I don't want to spend $50 on swimwear, so spending $50 for $100 worth of swimwear is not appealing.

I could never...

...communicate solely in Spanish, because every time the word "sexo" came up, I would laugh and laugh.

I.CAN'T.STOP,

I'm not even sure I want to! I found out that people can comment back to you...everyone hates me so much. I love it. I think I love it here because it's not real life, where I'm just devastated if someone hates me.

This person did NOT understand what I was going for.

I mean...it's right there.

Answer: no.

Makes sense, right?

Shampoo is better...I go on first and clean the hair.

I am SO GLAD that my computer doesn't have this, because I am sure I would push it at one point.

No reply to this...unfortunately.

I wish it was actually doing something. Harry Potter money.

I appreciate people who answer their own questions.

See above.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

It's in these times that I have to wonder what Melinda would say in her comment, because she always commented on all of these blogs, until her work computer blocked her capabilities to do so. I'd like to think for this blog, she would have commented "Wow...you're now doing this in daylight hours...???" to which I'd have to reply "It has replaced Words With Friends as my go-to TV show distraction...because I always need to be doing something else while watching TV," to which she would reply "You really are like a child, " and I would say "Yeah."

NSFW

Just kidding...it's totally safe for work. Everything about me is safe for work.

Two things:

1--I just saw a couple "jogging" and holding hands. Seriously? The only way that is appropriate is if one of them is blind.....and they both looked as though they were un-blind. You guys...you're already jogging together. You're going to be together when you finish. Just hold off for about five more minutes.
"Ohhh it's just that we love each other sooo much that we want to be touching aaall the tiiime for love!'"
"Things are going to be tough when one of you dumps the other."

2--I just can't get enough of that Lester Holt...he's my perfect match. Unfortunately, he's also 52, married, and named Lester.

XO forever!

Sometimes...

...the papers in my recycle bin shift and settle, and my heart stops. Every time, my head whips over, and I feel as though I'm dying. Every time. No matter when, who's here/not here, how dark is it...it scares the shiz out of me.

You know you're from Phoenix if...

Here's something I hate on Facebook this week: those damn groups about people's hometowns. You know you're from Mayberry if... Remembering the good old days in Chick Creek... Who remembers ol' Nashtucky... You might be from Wayside School if...

You get the idea.

But what if you're from a giant, personality-less city? There's nothing that I can use to identify with people who grew up in Phoenix, other than street names. Not at all in jest, I have actually had this conversation:

Them: Wait, you grew up in Phoenix too?"
Me: "I did!"
Them: "Oh man, that's crazy. Remember how bad traffic was on Bell Road?"
Me: "Ha...Bell Road. Walmart and Fry's...of course there was traffic, am I right??"

Not really an identifying moment for us. I mean, sort of, but it was also an identifying moment with about a million billion people around the world. There is nothing unique about Phoenix...but in my endless quest to be a part of everything, ever, I've come up with the following list, just in case I ever get invited to that Facebook group.

You know you're from Phoenix if...

--It could get hot
--You saw the Olive Garden
--You grew up there
--The roads were paved and striped
--It rained some of the time
--There were a lot of public high schools, but also, some private
--Stop lights were set on timers, not weights, in some cases
--Most of the people over 18 had vehicles, either purchased, or received as gifts
--You knew where various fast food restaurants around your house were
--You had friends with whom you attended school each day in Phoenix
--There were places to get your taxes filed
--Kids liked ice cream
--Every morning, the sun rose in the East
--Some larger concerts came through town
--There was an oldies radio station who, at one point, had the slogan "Good times, GREAT oldies!"
--Mormons were there
--The airport code was three letters
--Some people were lactose intolerant
--There was a favorite place for teenagers to hang out
--Often times, people wore red, or even gray
--It was so light outside when the sun was up

I could go on, but I'm sure the point has been made. You know, part of me wants to start this group with all of these posts, just to see the stay-at-home moms (who aren't cool like my friends who stay at home) post things like "Ohhhemgee there were totally Mormons!!! That is hilarious!!!" or "I TOTALLY remember the Olive Garden...total wow moment!!!"

Happy Friday everyone.

Don't tell...

...but these cute ankle pants I've been wearing are actually petite regulars.

Things I hate on Facebook today

1--Moms talking about personal business.

I know I've mentioned this (at great length) before, but seriously, moms, stop it. There needs to be a mom/gay dad only Facebook. I don't care how life-giving it is...no NON-mom (and many moms, I'm sure) don't want to read about your nipple business. It's not cute or sexy when you're talking about babies...it's just disturbing. I don't go posting about...

I decided it was better to edit that out.

2--Political jokes.

"If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? Ohhhhh snap!" Regress, assholes.

3--People complaining about Southwest Airlines.

I just love Southwest Airlines so much. I know it's crazy...I just feel like since they do so much right, maybe just leave them the hell alone, you know? But I also feel like I can't love Del Taco since I love Taco Bell so much. I have unusual and nonsensical views of loyalty that I'm working out.
You can complain about Southwest if you need to. But I've had to stop myself from posting replies to people on their Facebook. It's not worth it it's not worth it.

4--Kids posting stuff like they just discovered it for the first time.

It's easier and easier to call college students "kids."
Don't post Sigur Rós videos like they're brand new and I haven't been listening to them my whole life. BECAUSE I HAVE(n't, because they weren't around when I was born, which also ties into me being old enough to feel like I should call college students "kids.")

Today is going to be a kick ass day.

Here's why:

1--Scooted to work. Not good for the hair, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice for love of the game. And it is a sacrifice, because I miiiight look homeless right now.

2--Scooted through Pirates. I was so worried that I'd have to give up my morning coffee stop because I no longer commuted in a car. Not the case. Coffee Girl (so.embarrassing that I don't know her name after four years) even put the cup in a bag to avoid spillage. There was some slight, soon to be resolved by bringing my own cup, which I actually should've been doing for the last four years. Sorry, environment.

3--Got a wave from a real motorcycle driver across the intersection. I wasn't sure if he was acknowledging a peer (in the lil' sister sort of way) or making fun of me. I don't care...I was just so excited.

--just let me know when raving about scootering gets old, because I will NEVER STOP otherwise.

4--I finally decided to keep these shoes that I bought a week ago. I always try things out to ensure that they were a good purchase, and I've been NOT purchasing these shoes for a while, because they make me abooouuuttt 6'1, but I couldn't resist. Potentially alienating myself from 90% of girls and 50% of boys? All of the sudden worth it.

5--I'm hiring someone I'm pretty confident will be GREAT in our office today.

Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interviews

Hiring people is probably one of the top three least favorite parts of my job. There are a lot of reasons that aren't at all entertaining so, I'm not going to write about any of them. I did, however, want to share this gem from an applicant, when asked how he communicates differently to different groups of people, like students, parents, high school counselors, etc.:

"Well men really like to be treated with respect...I mean...I know women do too...but especially men..."

I mean, we gave you some great categories, but you really went for the gender split?

Wrong audience, friend.

This is borderline embarrassing...

...but I'm going to continue (admitting that I'm) doing it for a little while longer.

Please note the little red number at the top...that means I have questions from my Opinionaided friends. Nooooo big deal...I have friends on here. I felt like I had to just own that so you would know that I know that you know, and that I'm ok with you sitting at home, judging.