This does not make me want to shop at your store:

"...when you walk in, literally sensory overload!!"

YOU DON'T KNOW ME, IPHONE

My iPhone has been effing with me big time lately, and I KNOW it's on purpose.

Every time I type "if," it changes it to "of."  When I want to say "of," it changes it to "if."

"But Shan, the I and O are neighbors.  I'm sure you are just typing it wrong."

NO I AM NOT.  I watch it change EVERY TIME.  I KNOW it knows what I want to say.  This phone has literally saved my life so many times...I KNOW it's smart enough to determine that I'm not trying to say "Hey, let me know of you're thinking about coming by," or "If course I miss you!"

T-H-E keeps getting changed to T-E.

Dear iPhone,
I promise you, you son of a bitch, I will never be texting about the chemical tellurium (especially not by just using it's periodic symbol), "tea" in Spanish, or TECO Energy Inc. on the stock market.  JUST ASSUME IT'S T-H-E.  You're so good at assuming that "Mrkinfe" is actually "Melinda."  How can you not get it right with THE???

I want to say THAT, but keep saying GHAT.

I know ghat is a word, but maybe let's look to a little context and assume I won't use it regularly.  Here's a simple rubric to help determine if the user is more likely to say "ghat" than "that":
1.  Does the user live in Southern Asia?
2.  Does the user live hear a holy river?
3.  Does the user often refer to large bodies of water, and steps that lead to it?
4.  Do you think the user wishes she had an easier way to talk about all of that? 

(sidenote--I believe, with all my heart, that the iPhone can reason in this manner.  I mean, have you even used one?!  They can tell you where you parked, and how to get there, and where along the way you should eat.  They know.)

If yes to 1-4, then stick with "ghat."  If no, let's go with "that."

That's all for now...but never all for ever, because I'm always annoyed by things like this and never annoyed by things like world hunger, etc.

Favorite combo word of the week

"Oh man, I made the worst mistake with several rocks of cocaine earlier...total crackcident."

No need to non-shorten it

So many people who I love say this, so if that's you, it's cool.  This is just one of those things that I don't like but everyone else does like, so you keep saying it...I'm not even mad. 

THE ONLY REASONS I IMAGINE PEOPLE SAY HUBBY INSTEAD OF HUSBAND:
1.  They think it's easier to say.
2.  It's less formal.
3.  They want to be more original (moriginal) than other people.
4.  Because they want to rhyme it with something.
5.  It's shorter to type out than husband.

REASONS WHY THE ONLY REASONS I IMAGINE PEOPLE SAY HUBBY INSTEAD OF HUSBAND DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE:
1.  It's not easier to say.  They have the same number of syllables. For real.  Just tap it out.
2.  Yeah, it definitely is less formal...but are you SURE that's a good thing?  Slobster (yeah, you're welcome) is also less formal, and conjures up a lot of the same images in my mind that "hubby" does. 

"Hey, I'm Gina, and this is my slobster, Tadd."  See?  You do not want to say shiz like that.

3.  Let me just be the one to let everyone know that it is not more original than husband.   

I'm so sorry you guys.

4.  Yes, I do see that it's easier to "hubby" than it is to rhyme "husband," but again, people, why are we worried about rhyming things?  No one's husband wants (like really, really WANTS, not like "sure babe, I want that, definitely) a rhyming nickname.  Hubby Bubby...shiz you guys, I can't even go on with this.  Just tell me that's no one's reason.
5.  Yeah, I'll give you the shorter to type out thing too, but rrrreally...can that be our deciding factor?  Why not just go with Hsbnd, or Hus-b, or John (no matter his name, go with John.  It's fine.)?  Why make a completely new word? 

Hold on...where the hell did this even come from??  How did Huzzy not make the cut, or Huzby?   I prefer both of those.  You know you do.  You KNOW you do!!!

Anyway, like 1000 things are easier to type, so that isn't a good enough reason.  DFiHig4 was just easier to type than "husband," so go with that. 

Per uuuuuush (I know that sounds like "per ush-as-in-usher", but I mean it as "per-ush-as-in-usual"...I just don't know how to type that other than adding a bunch of u's.), this topic is completely unimportant.  Just thought of it, you know? 

My life is a series of "So this just popped into my head..." 

Something else posted just so I can Pin it...

So uhhhparently, you can't Pin from Facebook.  That's cool.  I'll put it here. 

THESE RINGS ARE AMAZING.  I want to sparkle all the time.  Now I can.

Go here to order...and you can freaking request your own colors/settings/whatever.  True love.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hollywood-Lacquer/414707141884271

Stolen recipe that I hope will fulfill my wildest dreams

This recipe is borrowed from THE New York Times.  I figure if they have all those "Share here, post here" links, they wouldn't mind.  I just wanted it to be posted somewhere so I wouldn't have to leave the window open anymore, and there aren't any photos on the NYT page, so I couldn't Pin it.

DISCLAIMER:  I haven't made this yet.  It just looks easy enough (i'm so into overly detailed recipes.  I'm not a good cook, and will legitimately be that girl who wonders "Oh shiz....are they supposed to be bobbing to the surface?!), and I effing love gnocchi.  And it's green, which I'm pretty sure makes it healthy.  Quote me...I don't curr. 

ONE MORE DISCLAIMER:  This photo is NOT from this recipe.  I just added a Google image of gnocchi....uhhhsoicouldpinit!

Green Gnocchi With Peas and Fresh Sage Butter

TOTAL TIME

About 30 minutes plus time for cooking potatoes

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 pounds floury potatoes, preferably Yukon Gold or small Russets
• 1 cup regular all-purpose flour (or Italian 00-type flour, or fine semolina flour), plus more for dusting
• 1/2 cup chopped parsley, plus 2 tablespoons for garnish
• 1 ounce grated pecorino Romano
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 cups small English peas (from about 2 pounds in the pod)
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 or 3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
• 16 to 24 fresh sage leaves
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• 3 or 4 scallions thinly sliced, for garnish
• Parmesan cheese, for grating.

Preparation

1.

Bake the potatoes in their skins until tender when probed with a paring knife, about 40 minutes. (Potatoes may also be boiled in their skins, then removed from the pot and slashed to release steam.) Peel the potatoes while still warm, discard the peels and weigh the flesh; you want exactly 1 pound. Force the potatoes through a ricer, food mill or medium-meshed sieve into a mixing bowl.

2.

Add 3/4 cup flour, 1/2 cup parsley, pecorino, nutmeg, pepper and salt. Mix with fingers to form a mass, then knead very briefly to make a smooth ball, just one minute or so. Be careful not to overwork the dough or the gnocchi will be tough. Make a couple of preliminary half-inch ovals and boil in well-salted water to check the texture. Let them bob to the surface and cook for about 1 minute. If they hold their shape, proceed to the next step, otherwise add a little more flour to the dough. It may require a full cup of flour.

3.

Divide the dough into 4 pieces. On a clean counter or cutting board, roll the dough pieces into footlong logs, approximately 1 inch thick, dusting with additional flour as necessary. Cut each log into 18 to 20 gnocchi. If desired, roll each of the gnocchi over the tines of a fork to make the traditional ridged oval shape (otherwise, random small pillow shapes are fine).

4.

Sprinkle a baking sheet liberally with flour and line up the gnocchi in one layer, making sure they don't touch. Now sprinkle flour lightly over the top of the gnocchi and leave at room temperature, uncovered, until ready to cook. Fill a large, wide pasta pot with water. Add salt liberally and bring to a rapid boil.

5.

Put 2 cups of water in a small saucepan for cooking the peas and bring to a brisk simmer. Cook the peas briefly until just done, then drain. Melt the butter in a wide deep skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and sage leaves and let them sizzle without browning, then turn off the heat.

6.

Add the gnocchi one by one to the boiling water. Carefully stir as the gnocchi begin to bob to the surface. You may do this in batches if your burner is not strong enough to maintain a rapid simmer. Cook for 60 to 90 seconds, until tender (semolina gnocchi will take about 2 minutes), then transfer cooked gnocchi to the butter sauce using a wide skimmer.

7.

Add the cooked peas and a little salt and pepper and gently toss everything together with a large spoon. Pour into a warm low-sided ovenproof serving vessel. If desired, sprinkle with 2 tablespoons Parmesan and run under the broiler till lightly browned. Garnish with the chopped parsley and scallions. Serve with plenty of grated Parmesan, and spoon some of the sage butter over each portion. Pass the pepper mill.

YIELD

6 appetizer-size servings or 4 main-course servings; approximately 80 gnocchi.