#missing #plane #malaysia #people #are #nuts

Did you guys know that there's a plane that's missing? 

You did.  We all know you did.

Anyway, I have (also) heard all about the missing plane.  Here are some things we can agree on, for sure:

• there was a plane
• it's gone
• we don't know where it is
• it's weird

Here are some other things we can agree on:

• no other things; see below

I REALLY love it when people get all up in arms about any major news story, because it invites the crazies to come out and GET! INVOLVED! on the exact same platform that we normal folk use.  No longer do we have to roam the streets at night to find "The End Is Near" foil-capped population...just check Facebook.

Case in point--I spent my lunch break today on The Today Show Facebook page, just loading and reading more and more comments posted on their article about the missing plane.  And now, I share with you, the gems.

The post: 

WHAT ENSUED:

 Thank you Judy.  Your theory is noted.

IS ANYONE HEARING THIS?  GARDOSE HAS THOUGHT OF A WAY YOU GUYS HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF TO FIND THE PLANE!  SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE THIS DOWN.

I get you, Candy.  It's like "So many news stories about things happening in places!  OVER it!"  Am I right??

Was just wondering what Shera Warde was thinking about this...but that second reason...seems pretty important...I mean...you don't have to post the comment until you remember it...and you don't have to let us know that there was another reason that you don't remember... 
...LIKE!

 Kizz as a point--if terrorists got the plane, let's give credit where credit is due.

"I mean, that's for sure the MOST logical explanation.  Right?  Like, what else could be more logical than the plane having an undetected poison gas leak, everyone being affected by the poison gas in the exact same way at the exact same time, the poison gas that's only toxic when breathed affecting the plane's radar, communications, tracking, etc., the plane crashing, and there being no debris?  Right?  Am I right?  But I guess, like, who even knows.  But that's the most likely scenario, probably."

 "UUUGGGHHHHH."

First of all, Karla, "every post" on "every page"?  Come on.  If you're going to fake credibility, at least go with something that's humanly possible. 
"You want to know why I'm posting?  BECAUSE I HAVE WRITTEN EVERY ARTICLE ON THIS TOPIC.  There, that's why." 
Second...this is a pretty detailed, strangely personal theory that you've bought into (read: created in your mind, alone).  And third, really??  This is what you "hope" happened?  I think I speak for most of us when I say that we "hope" everyone is alive and well somewhere, laughing about all of this, just relaxing for a while before showing back up on the radar.  That's what I "hope," Karla.

Ah yes, that's probably what happened.  You know, that thing that happened in that Lifetime movie?  The one based on the guy?  With the plane?  Yeah, just like that, but then everyone dies instead of everyone living in the end.

With one sentence, Donna has really summed up what we're all trying to say.

IS ANYONE HEARING THIS?  ANN HAS USED SOME WEBSITE TO FOLLOW HER DAUGHTER'S PLANE WHEN SHE'S VISITED HOME FOR COLLEGE CHRISTMAS BREAK A COUPLE YEARS AGO.  HAS ANYONE TRIED JUST LOOKING UP THE FLIGHT STATUS ON THIS WEBSITE?

IS ANYONE HEARING THIS? MICHELLE HAS THOUGHT OF A WAY FOR YOU GUYS TO FIND THE PLANE THAT NO ONE HAS THOUGHT OF YET, BECAUSE IF YOU HAD, YOU WOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT! 
I mean, you guys, why didn't they call home when the plane was hijacked?  I'm pretty sure that the whole "cell phones don't work at 30,000 feet" thing is null when it's an emergency.

Here's where I would insert a picture of ducks and chickens performing Shakespeare, if I could draw.

 I know, right?  Why didn't we see this coming?
...LIKE!

This must be really hard for you, Linda.  I'm so sorry.

Right???  Like, why even have that thing in planes at all?  Because 99% of the time it works really well, and provides valuable information about a plane's flight path and crash details, so like, what's even the point of having it?

ALRIGHT PETER.  Alright.  Enough.

That's...that's not really productive, Dee.

Really, Mariella?  THIS is why you're afraid?  Because you think that on an hour flight abroad, your plane, its crew, passengers, luggage and everything else on it would vanish to the point that the entire world would be waiting on pins and needles for any information pertaining to the possible cause of the incident?  THIS is what keeps you off planes?

 You guys...I think Linda may have had something to do with this.

 Yeah, but how loudly were they hijacked? 
...LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE

Oh, really Jamie?  YOUR theory?  You just read the facts and came up with that theory?  You didn't, maybe, hear it somewhere, like...I don't know...everywhere?  You just were like "I think I got this..."?  Really?

 Thanks Kathy--now we know.  HEADS UP, ALL.  SEE KATHY FOR INFO.

Shut them all down, Tshombe. 
Wait--you didn't actually give it to us.  Bring it back up, bring it back up!

IS EVERYONE HEARING THIS?  ANNA IS ON THE SAME PAGE AS EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT PROVEN FACTS ABOUT THE DEBRIS, OK?

I KNOW, right?  I mean, if one plane goes completely missing for the first time in a hundred years and it's the first time anything like this has happened with this type of plane, we have GOT to get the message that what we have to track planes is NOT sufficient!  The fact that the technology works on 44,999 of the 45,000 flights that take off per day (cite: ask.com--legit!) shouldn't lead anyone to believe that it ACTUALLY works.

And finally...I couldn't bring myself to screenshot the DOZENS of comments just like this one, but let's all hope that no one is saying things like this to the families wondering where the hell their brother ended up.

"Remember it?  So your brother is probably fine on an island somewhere!  But you probably won't find him for like eight years, and he might die...or join a group of rebels/bandits/terrorists/scientists...and he might already be in the future...or the past...wait do you believe in smoke monsters?"