So I was caught up on emails and phone calls yesterday (a brief but celebrated moment in this season), and decided that it was about time for me to completely clean out my drawers. I have six in my desk and four of the four-foot long file drawers. After three hours, I got through five of my desk drawers.
I may be a hoarder. Not sure yet, since I just added the show to the DVR, but it's a real possibility.
Anyway, I was just so pleased with the things I found that I thought I'd share them here, as to never forget them, ever, in all of time.
1--a bunch of choco-coins from my grad program's noncommittal holiday display-not-party...in 2007 (I licked one. Still good)
2--a picture I took of my brother pretending to be falling in some sort of battle, complete with Taco Bell mild sauce special effects
3--a photo booth photo of me and a friend from high school with scrunchies and Phoenix Suns t-shirts
4--three pages of quotations from a really crazy guest speaker in my business comm class when I was a college sophomore who said things like "Ok, say you and I are golfing together...I'll be you and you can be...me..." (more on this below)
5--a Valentines Day card to "My Beloved Husband" (me) from "your adoring wife" (my friend Jessica)
6--three pairs of different kinds of scrapbooking scissors (I have never scrapbooked, or wanted to)
7--unmailed Thank You notes from Fall Travel 2005
8--a really old sign that, after an especially formative day in Freshman Psychology, my roommate and I posted on our dorm door that said "My id can kick your id's @$$"
9--A card for a free FroYo, from back when it was called FroYo
10--a joke from an old Chinese New Year cracker that reads: "Why is an elephant large and wrinkly? Because if it were small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!"
And so I can finally throw these papers away (key indicator that I am not a hoarder...my life is so confusing!), here are all of the quotations from Crazy Julie, written on pages from my college planner in 2003, from her presentation on job interviews.
"Barbers! These guys don't go barbers! They have someone...just cut their hair."
"You say to me 'Julie, you are gonna be a BB in two seconds.'"
"So you're standing there, looking at me glassy-eyed, saying nothing...who's the winner? No one! You are the loser!"
"PowerPoint is easier, right? Yes, I think so too. I like overheads."
"See this paper? It records names AND companies AND family AND cell phone. If you can find an better way to keep track of that with a computer, you let me know!"
"Stand out, or else you look like...Cheerios. And not even the honey nut kind."
"These keys are a comp-u-lation of other keys."
"So you're in a room with a professional...is it a big room?"
"If she didn't come...oh man. OH MAN!"
"He kissed people...but it was so much easier when I talked to him...I didn't feel like he was going to kiss me."
"They bug you and all you want to do is grab their jaw and squeeeeze..."
"Know why you're not like Westpoint here? You don't fight in wars. Here, you all fly around like...rolling BBs...and you forget your friends."
"OK, so picture me as an accountant. I'm an accountant...I have very few personal skills."
"I don't knooooow if I have a job because I don't knoooow if you speak English. Yikes!"
So I'm pretty sure some of those were taken out of context, but really, even in context...what the hell? That was a weird day. All of the BB references alone made it weird.
And this lady used to be in charge of the Business Center. That thought just made me smile.