Monday, September 13, 2010

on the road...AGAIN

Don't you dare say that like the song, because that is NOT what I'm going for.

Hello. I'm tired of fall travel, and it's my first day. I think it's because I am now like 15 years older than the average counselor. But at least there are weird things to write about.

I hate and love overzealous sports fans.

So on my flight last night, there was this lady dressed as though she were an actual Giants player...tight white pants and all. She stopped every few aisles while boarding to ask people if they were at the game, then, regardless of their answer, she'd talk to them, in "I know a lot about this, can't you tell?" detail, about players, games, stats, blah blah blah. No one cared, OR everyone was too creeped out to have that conversation with a complete crazy lady stranger. Then, no lie, she tried to start the "Here we go Giants, here we go!" clapping cheer 12 times on the flight. Weird thing--she only did it when the flight attendants and pilots were on the PA. No one joined in, but she kept yelling "COME ON YOU GUYS!!! COME ON!" I don't even think she was drunk, because I saw her more than an hour later at the train for the BART, and she was doing the same thing, but weirder. It was just me on one side, her across from me and a guy standing like 10 yards (sports measurement!) away, and she yelled to him "Did you catch the game??" He said he did, and looked away, but no worries, because she just walked over to him with an arm in the air and said "Ok, we have to do it..." which made him look pretty nervous, because her arm was in the air and all, and he said "Do what?" She said "THE HIGH FIVE!!!" Then she did the same thing that she did on the plane..."player player score score blah blah." He just stood there, but she didn't care. I love her enthusiasm, and hate that it's wasted on something that has no value to society.

Coffee shops are full of weird people in the day time.

...also called...

Don't you all have jobs?

I am sitting one table away from a group of three 50-60s men, one of whom is either a huge ass or just crazy. I can't tell. The other two men are somehow his employees, and he's been using this last hour to catch up with them, and to impart random bits of wisdom.

For example:

"If you make ten decisions, you make one wrong. It's a statistic. You find the wrong one, and you go "OOPS! What's the mistake?" And you learn. So if you can make it a little more user friendly, we're winning all around. Ok, so what else on Hummingbird?"

"Bingo. If I had a cigar, I'd give it to you."

"That's fine. That's fine. It's not approved."

"You need to call the trailer company to get it fixed. I don't see you writing that down."

But he's saying all of this like a huge jerk. Seriously. Everything I said with this "you two are dumb...thank God you have me to guide you" tone. I can't tell if the guys are mad or what. I'm mad for them. The guy also says all of these things looking over his glasses, which are about to fall off of his nose...intentionally.

"Ok, you guys can stay here and talk if you want, but I have a meeting, so...whatever."

Also, some other guy just started playing the piano like 40 minutes ago. He doesn't work here.

So now it's just the two guys who were being enlightened/lectured, and one looked at the other and said "That was rough."

Totally, man.

And in conclusion, I can't stop singing this song recently. Here is one of the worst versions of it, but it's all the interweb had for us. It's worth a Google and actual listen. And don't take it're obviously exempt!

1 comment:

  1. You should have warned me about the title IN the title because that's exactly how I sang it. Sorry! :(