Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Fantasy Sports...they're like a fantasy...

...if your fantasy is a nightmare and a waste of time.

I like pretend stuff as much as the next girl who's read all seven Harry Potters about seven times each, but I sure do hate fantasy sports. The only thing worse than regular sports is fantasy sports, and that includes gambling your rent money away on sports.

Yes, I'd rather you gamble away all of your rent money than spend five seconds telling me anything about your fantasy sports team, or league, or whatever. At least when you gamble, something actually happens.

Come on. What other real things have fantasy counterparts? I mean, at least Dungeons and Dragons has dragons.

My brother said that last line...I just really liked it. But seriously--do you all like that the best comparison anyone has to fantasy sports is Dungeons and Dragons???

"Falcour...I choose you to play for the 49ers offense this week...and I give you the power of banishing darkness and a sword with the strength of 10 on touchdown scoring!"

Ha ha...it's real clear that I don't even understand real sports (or Dungeons and Dragons) based on that sentence alone. I really tried on that one. But SERIOUSLY...seriously...nothing is more annoying than being with more than one person who are in some "league" together, and hearing them talk about their fake teams, and their fake points, and how mad they are that something really happened in a real game, and how that ruined their fake game.

I mean, just talk about the real game!! At least I can Google that to follow along and contribute.

There is nothing that anyone NOT in that league can contribute to that conversation. "Yeah, when real Eli Manning ran all of those real yards, my fake Eli Manning was so pissed, because he wasn't supposed to run that much in my fake game...arg..."

I'm convinced that it's just a reason for people who aren't in other exclusive groups to be exclusive. "Oh sorry, you can't comment, because you aren't in my league...hopefully I can find a spot for you next year...start brainstorming about your clever team name...No Punt Intended is already taken, FYI."

I'm starting a Fantasy House of Representative league.

"Damn it! I had Chu signing off on the adoption of the Peters Amendment on Tuesday, not Thursday, and that the bill to reduce Federal spending by terminating taxpayer financing of presidential election campaigns would be HE 357, not HR 359. At least I picked Rodney Frelinghuysen to take New Jersey's 11th district. What a wild week in my Fantasy House of Representatives league, "We the Freeple" !!!"

I was also thinking about "Rad-ify","Cam-PAIN Finance Reform" and "Bill of Wrights." But that last one would only be funny if my last name was Wright.


  1. Did you ever notice how everyone on a fantasy ______ team never played that sport in high school or college? They weren't good enough or big enough or whatever to do so, they participate in a FAKE sport world. LAME.

  2. But what if you got involved in this http://www.hsx.com/ ?