here's something I hate: *happy sigh*

Listen, everyone. I get that we all text, IM, email, BBM (is that the thing? I don't even get Blackberry), blog, whatever more than we talk now, and I'm alright with that. I don't like talking on the phone either. But PLEASE...just leave me to assume your physical reaction. PLEASE don't asterisk tell me in detail what you're doing asterisk. Why? Come on--do you really need a why??

1--It makes it awkward. "I just love cookies *happy sigh*" Why are you sighing about cookies to the point that you want me to notice it?? It we were having this discussion in person, would you really draw attention to the fact that you sighed after saying that you loved cookies? Let me just answer for you--you wouldn't. And you wouldn't because it would be awkward. If all this textual communication is supposed to be a substitute for verbal communication, let's try to keep the two fairly similar. "I just love cookies. Did you hear me sigh? Because I tttooottallllly did."

2--Where the hell does the punctuation go?? This isn't really a good point, I know, but I just really struggled with that sentence above--does the period go after "sigh" before the "*", after the "*", at all??? I don't know. And I


hate



not


knowing.

3--It makes you sound like an 11 year old girl. ANYTHING THAT YOU DO WITH AN ASTERISK (other than noting a footnote in your thesis) MAKES IT SEEM AS THOUGH YOU ARE AN 11 YEAR OLD GIRL. Stop it. Stop it forever.

4--They already invented emoticons to take care of this. Listen, it took me long enough to warm up to emoticons (and don't even start with the noses...that's another post), but I get how they can convey something that you can't really say. "Oh, I totally love getting rear ended ;) " (hg). I get it--you're being carcastic. (HOLD THE HELL ON...I mean to type sarcastic, but it came out carcastic, and I just loved it so much that I am going to keep it. My hands basically just typed a combo word that my brain didn't even think of. I'm so zen right now.). So we've all come to accept emoticons...do we really need to revert? "Oh, I totally love getting rear ended *wink*"

Stupid. Don't.

Cheers to another thing that I hate that doesn't matter AT ALL.