You're only allowed one androgynous name per child.
Cory Blair
Devin Taylor
Anderson Kyle
You think you know which gender these kids are, but you're all wrong.
Male
Female
Female
I mean, if you guessed that, you were right, but I was wrong. Each kid should be allowed one androgynous name, and the second name should have to be SUPER drogynous. Acceptable choices:
Cory Jessica
Boy George Taylor
Anderson Tammi
I mean, don't name your kids that, but you get the idea.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Dentista slash dentist
I went to the dentist (wentist) today for the first time in two years.
Here's why I am terrified of the dentist:
1--Not to brag or anything, but I've had 26 teeth pulled. I still have dreams of that crack-crack crackling "just before it pops out" sound.
2--Dentists are, as a general rule, mean. I don't know why...maybe they're tired of all of us breathing on them all the time. I'd hate that too.
3--I'm still convinced that dentists (conventists...just kidding), like auto mechanics, are all a huge scam. How can any patient be sure that you MUST have the four quadrant periodontal deep cleaning that they tell you you MUST have or your teeth will fall out? "Oh, by the way, your insurance doesn't quuiiittte cover that."
4--I generally leave the dentist office feeling horrible, because of all the lecturing. I don't know anyone who flosses every day, ok? Stop making me feel so bad about it! I'd floss more if it was awesome in any way. It's not.
4--Everything smells scary at the dentist.
ALSO...I grew up without dental insurance much of the time, so I'm just not used to going. It's like how I hate showering...I grew up lying about showering, so I got used to not doing it. More on that another day.
So when I first moved back to SD and had my own insurance, I scheduled my first big girl dentist appointment. I went to some group in Hillcrest. They were mean, lectured me, and told me that I MUST have the four quadrant periodontal deep cleaning or myteeth will fall out. And oh, by the way, my insurance didn't quuiiittte cover that. I made that appointment, then didn't go.
Two years after that, I was feeling bad about not using the benefits I so diligently sign up for each year (thanks Joyce), so I made an appointment with a highly recommended local dentist. I went...no lecture, some guilt because apparently my gums were going to fall out soon (PS they're still here), no four quadrant cleaning. Not bad. Unfortunately, the dentist is SO nice and SO nice looking that I could never go back. I don't want someone who I hope to one day hang out with at someone's 31st Birthday Backyard BBQ envisioning my bicuspids (just kidding, because I don't have any--those were among the later of the pulled teeth) and judging me eating curry (which somehow is featured at the Backyard BBQ) when we laughed by the pool.
Two years after that was today. I decided to try this dentist because his office is 10 doors down from my house. That makes things feel a little more comfortable. Here's what happened:
--arrived
--told them I didn't have a dental insurance card, because I was so sure I didn't, because I never remember seeing it
--finding said card in my wallet, and first wondering how it got in there, then second wondering how it could've been in there the whole time without me even realizing, then third realizing that I was obviously the one that put it in there.
--meeting the hygienist
--telling her I'm super scared of her (my strategy--it makes them go into five year old mode...not like THEY'RE five year olds [I never let children clean my teeth], but they treat me like I am one, which is great)
--her doing a really quick and good job cleaning my teeth
--no lecturing
--me being weirded out by that, so asking about flossing (sometimes I freak out and just start talking)
--her saying "yeah, I mean, you don't have any cavities, which is great for two years of rarely flossing, but it wouldn't hurt for anyone, you know?"
--meeting the dentist
--him being nice, but not so good looking that I couldn't look him in the eye
--hand-shaking, and realizing that his hands were very, very soft
--him giving me a toothbrush
--him looking in my file to see EXACTLY what my insurance covered
--him saying "Ok, let's get back on the every six months plan, and off the two year plan"
--me booking my next cleaning, because that's what my insurance covers.
All in all, success. Thanks, Dr. New Dentist. He might be the first one who I go to more than once.
Or I might freak out again and just not go back. I'm never sure about what I'll do.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Here's something I hate: that girl who's the only one dancing.
It's been a little while. Sorry about that...last week was a huge downer. But THIS week...this week is looking up. I decided to celebrate a better week by writing about something I hate.
Every good event/situation has music. That's not to say every event/situation with music is good (dentists' offices, movie scenes where beloved pets die, etc.), but in order for an event to be the best event, music is involved. Sometimes, in the truly best of situations, there is dancing to this music. I believe that almost any music is danceable (see Mary and me getting called out for dancing too much by security at Imogen Heap). But sometimes, those situations turn worst...and it's all because that one girl is dancing alone.
"But Shannon...every dance party starts with just one girl."
No, they don't. What about dance parties that start with one guy, or with three girls? Exactly.
INEVITABLY (and I say that knowing that there are for sure exceptions to this rule...but I'm only leaving room for like two exceptions, and Sarah Z is one, so if you're also that girl, you better answer first, before someone else takes the other spot), that one girl who's dancing alone is doing it because a--she thinks everyone loves her, b--she thinks that she is an amazing dancer, and c--she thinks that people are better for sitting and watching her dance.
We are, girl, because you look like an a-hole.
There are three kinds of Alone Dancing Girls.
First, the "Hey everybody...come see how good I dance!" girl.
She's the worst. This girl really thinks that she, through years of going to prom with older boys, has mastered THE moves to be the most popular girl on the dance floor. And lucky for her...she is...because she's the only one on the dance floor. She generally tries her best contemporary/lyrical dance moves that involve arms flailing (that she learned on So You Think You Can Dance), in combo with her best prom moves, which involves whatever people do to Juvenile's "Back That Thing Up." It also always involves a lot of open mouth moves, and eyes closed moves. In the best cases, there will also be hair flipping, and several "point to someone out there and try to get them to join you on the dance floor, but not really, because spotlight's on you!" waggles. Those moves are hit-makers, do NOT get me wrong...but only when you're dancing with a group of friends. When you're all alone, it's super desperate. It's especially bad when she keeps looking back at the crowd to make sure that people are looking at her. Stop it. If you were a good dancer, someone would go dance with you. I give this girl 30 seconds of self-love-dancing before I start hating. Maybe it was a dare. You might think that by dancing with her, she'll love you, but really, she'll be mad that you're stealing her spotlight, and everyone else will think you, also, are SUPER desperate.
Second, the "I don't know if you knew this, but I am trained in dance." girl.
She's the worst. This is the girl who takes great care to do a couple of "trained dancer" moves that, by the way, Gina, we all do when we're alone and doing dishes, or vacuuming. She'll be the one that runs into the middle of the open space (P.S. Alone Dancers always have to have a TON of space, to ensure that a lot of people see them. You'll notice that they never start alone dancing in a small area where there aren't many, many people) and hops up on one toe, or spins around ballet style (just want to emphasize how untrained I am right now), or (this really happened to me last week or so) does a bunch of super freaky, unattractive-to-anyone-but-Michael-Flately Irish step dance moves. Stupid. Seriously? Stop it. In the best cases, this girl will try to insert some tap moves into whatever she's dancing to, because without fail, tap dancers think they're the most talented and classy of all the dancers, and that tap fits any style of music. This girl wants to ensure that everyone knows that she's "trained in a studio" under whoever, whenever, and she's better off (than you) for it. Do not try to dance with her...she'll try to get you to be her swing partner (no matter what music is on), and will get annoyed when you don't "pick up the choreography."
Third, the "I'm too drunk to know this is embarrassing...DANCE IT OUT!!!!" girl.
This girl isn't the worst, but only if she is later embarrassed by being this girl. She usually does a lot of inappropriate moves, and sometimes falls. In those cases, she's the best.
I could go on, but actually, I can't. Happy payday, world.
Every good event/situation has music. That's not to say every event/situation with music is good (dentists' offices, movie scenes where beloved pets die, etc.), but in order for an event to be the best event, music is involved. Sometimes, in the truly best of situations, there is dancing to this music. I believe that almost any music is danceable (see Mary and me getting called out for dancing too much by security at Imogen Heap). But sometimes, those situations turn worst...and it's all because that one girl is dancing alone.
"But Shannon...every dance party starts with just one girl."
No, they don't. What about dance parties that start with one guy, or with three girls? Exactly.
INEVITABLY (and I say that knowing that there are for sure exceptions to this rule...but I'm only leaving room for like two exceptions, and Sarah Z is one, so if you're also that girl, you better answer first, before someone else takes the other spot), that one girl who's dancing alone is doing it because a--she thinks everyone loves her, b--she thinks that she is an amazing dancer, and c--she thinks that people are better for sitting and watching her dance.
We are, girl, because you look like an a-hole.
There are three kinds of Alone Dancing Girls.
First, the "Hey everybody...come see how good I dance!" girl.
She's the worst. This girl really thinks that she, through years of going to prom with older boys, has mastered THE moves to be the most popular girl on the dance floor. And lucky for her...she is...because she's the only one on the dance floor. She generally tries her best contemporary/lyrical dance moves that involve arms flailing (that she learned on So You Think You Can Dance), in combo with her best prom moves, which involves whatever people do to Juvenile's "Back That Thing Up." It also always involves a lot of open mouth moves, and eyes closed moves. In the best cases, there will also be hair flipping, and several "point to someone out there and try to get them to join you on the dance floor, but not really, because spotlight's on you!" waggles. Those moves are hit-makers, do NOT get me wrong...but only when you're dancing with a group of friends. When you're all alone, it's super desperate. It's especially bad when she keeps looking back at the crowd to make sure that people are looking at her. Stop it. If you were a good dancer, someone would go dance with you. I give this girl 30 seconds of self-love-dancing before I start hating. Maybe it was a dare. You might think that by dancing with her, she'll love you, but really, she'll be mad that you're stealing her spotlight, and everyone else will think you, also, are SUPER desperate.
Second, the "I don't know if you knew this, but I am trained in dance." girl.
She's the worst. This is the girl who takes great care to do a couple of "trained dancer" moves that, by the way, Gina, we all do when we're alone and doing dishes, or vacuuming. She'll be the one that runs into the middle of the open space (P.S. Alone Dancers always have to have a TON of space, to ensure that a lot of people see them. You'll notice that they never start alone dancing in a small area where there aren't many, many people) and hops up on one toe, or spins around ballet style (just want to emphasize how untrained I am right now), or (this really happened to me last week or so) does a bunch of super freaky, unattractive-to-anyone-but-Michael-Flately Irish step dance moves. Stupid. Seriously? Stop it. In the best cases, this girl will try to insert some tap moves into whatever she's dancing to, because without fail, tap dancers think they're the most talented and classy of all the dancers, and that tap fits any style of music. This girl wants to ensure that everyone knows that she's "trained in a studio" under whoever, whenever, and she's better off (than you) for it. Do not try to dance with her...she'll try to get you to be her swing partner (no matter what music is on), and will get annoyed when you don't "pick up the choreography."
Third, the "I'm too drunk to know this is embarrassing...DANCE IT OUT!!!!" girl.
This girl isn't the worst, but only if she is later embarrassed by being this girl. She usually does a lot of inappropriate moves, and sometimes falls. In those cases, she's the best.
I could go on, but actually, I can't. Happy payday, world.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Things I can't post on Facebook
...because I don't want anyone to fire me:
--I read a file for a kid who's middle name is Clingy. Come on, parents...that's a family name that shouldn't have been carried on. That poor guy is never going to break free of that stigma.
--our application has a spot for a "preferred" name...like if you're first name is Clingy, but you want to go by Warren... Somehow, from the application to the database, Heather's preferred name is "er Heath."
--a student whose last name is Phillips listed her home church as "Larry Phillips."
Amen.
--I read a file for a kid who's middle name is Clingy. Come on, parents...that's a family name that shouldn't have been carried on. That poor guy is never going to break free of that stigma.
--our application has a spot for a "preferred" name...like if you're first name is Clingy, but you want to go by Warren... Somehow, from the application to the database, Heather's preferred name is "er Heath."
--a student whose last name is Phillips listed her home church as "Larry Phillips."
Amen.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Two ads I hate and one I love
This isn't going to be that great of a post, because I couldn't manage to find pictures or videos of ANYTHING I'm about to talk about, so you're just going to have to trust me.
First ad I hate:
On the 8 East, right before the 5 South split, there's a large billboard with a cartoon crocodile/alligator (I never really learned the difference...something about teeth or nostrils or something?), and text that reads "Have you heard of Linux? WE'RE HIRING."
Reasons I hate this:
1--I'm annoyed at the fact that I actually HAVE heard of Linux
2--I've heard of it because they tried to release a PC operating system in the early 2000s called Lindows, like a-holes, got sued, and lost. Stupid.
3--The cartoon animal. At least try to tie it in...or make it so over the top ridiculous that it clearly DOESN'T tie in. A cartoon crocogator is just stupid.
4--For this person: "Yes I have heard of Linux. Why do I care if you're hiring?"
5--For this person: "No, I have never heard of Linux. Why do I care if you're hiring?"
6--For this person: "No, I have never heard of Linux. Are you trying to imply that I can't apply for a job there? Do the two really go hand in hand?"
Now I know SOMEONE out there is saying "Ha ha Shannon...you're an a-hole [I'm really trying to expand the use of that word...more on that another post]...you're thinking and talking about that ad, and that's EXACTLY what they wanted!"
My answer: "No. No. No. Because of this ad alone, I will never accept a position at Linux, and will openly ridicule any one of my friends who ever interviews there. I'm not joking." It'll go like this: "Wow, so you got hired on at Linux , huh? Were you interviewed by an alligator/crocodile? I think that's who they've got working over there, so you probably were, right? Yeah, will you be working with some alligators/crocodiles when you start? Yeah, that's definitely a part of the company, for sure. When did you hear about Linux? Because I think that's also a big part of who they choose to hire...you know...because it really matters...A LOT. BIG TIME. Cool though, really. Cartoons!!"
The ad looked a LOT like that, but there was more yellow.
Second ad I hate:
I heard it on a radio ad for Vail, Colorado. I don't remember anything but this tag-line, that came up several times in the 30 second spot: "Plan a vacation 30 minutes from the airport!"
Reasons I hate this:
1--Seriously? That's what you're going with to entice people? I have never been to Vail, but I don't think "proximity to the airport" is the best thing they've got going for them. "San Diego...zero minutes from the airport, because it's the San Diego Airport, a-holes."
2--30 minutes is juuust far enough that you still have to rent a car, because no one wants to cab it for a half hour. Since no rental cars have had mileage caps since the mid-1970s, who cares how far you have to drive to get there? No one cool.
3--This one might be a stretch, so I'm putting it at number 3. Vail=skiing. Skiers=outdoorsy people. Outdoorsy people=people who love the environment (not in a creeps way...just in an "I appreciate trees and blackbirds" way). Large jets=bad for the environment. Also, loud.
I don't think they're attracting the right kind of people with this tag line.
Now I know SOMEONE out there is saying "Ha ha Shannon...you're an a-hole...you're thinking and talking about that ad, and that's EXACTLY what they wanted!"
My answer: "No. No. No. Because of this ad alone, I will never take a vacation to Vail, and will openly ridicule any one of my friends who ever do. I'm not joking." It'll go like this: "Wow, Vail, huh? 30 minutes from the airport? That's really nice, because you GOTTA be close to an airport when you want to get away! There's nothing quite like hitting the slopes and breathing in the crisp Colorado air and jet fumes. I LOVE looking out from the ski lift and seeing nature's lofty peaks and British Airways flight 2318. Can't WAIT for you to BE THERE!!"
Third ad I LOVE:
I was in Hawaii on Fall Travel, it was a morning talk show local car commercial, and in a perfect Hawaiian accent, the guy said: "What is this, a Hyundai? Same thing as a Korean Lexus."
It's science. I'll take it.
First ad I hate:
On the 8 East, right before the 5 South split, there's a large billboard with a cartoon crocodile/alligator (I never really learned the difference...something about teeth or nostrils or something?), and text that reads "Have you heard of Linux? WE'RE HIRING."
Reasons I hate this:
1--I'm annoyed at the fact that I actually HAVE heard of Linux
2--I've heard of it because they tried to release a PC operating system in the early 2000s called Lindows, like a-holes, got sued, and lost. Stupid.
3--The cartoon animal. At least try to tie it in...or make it so over the top ridiculous that it clearly DOESN'T tie in. A cartoon crocogator is just stupid.
4--For this person: "Yes I have heard of Linux. Why do I care if you're hiring?"
5--For this person: "No, I have never heard of Linux. Why do I care if you're hiring?"
6--For this person: "No, I have never heard of Linux. Are you trying to imply that I can't apply for a job there? Do the two really go hand in hand?"
Now I know SOMEONE out there is saying "Ha ha Shannon...you're an a-hole [I'm really trying to expand the use of that word...more on that another post]...you're thinking and talking about that ad, and that's EXACTLY what they wanted!"
My answer: "No. No. No. Because of this ad alone, I will never accept a position at Linux, and will openly ridicule any one of my friends who ever interviews there. I'm not joking." It'll go like this: "Wow, so you got hired on at Linux , huh? Were you interviewed by an alligator/crocodile? I think that's who they've got working over there, so you probably were, right? Yeah, will you be working with some alligators/crocodiles when you start? Yeah, that's definitely a part of the company, for sure. When did you hear about Linux? Because I think that's also a big part of who they choose to hire...you know...because it really matters...A LOT. BIG TIME. Cool though, really. Cartoons!!"
The ad looked a LOT like that, but there was more yellow.
Second ad I hate:
I heard it on a radio ad for Vail, Colorado. I don't remember anything but this tag-line, that came up several times in the 30 second spot: "Plan a vacation 30 minutes from the airport!"
Reasons I hate this:
1--Seriously? That's what you're going with to entice people? I have never been to Vail, but I don't think "proximity to the airport" is the best thing they've got going for them. "San Diego...zero minutes from the airport, because it's the San Diego Airport, a-holes."
2--30 minutes is juuust far enough that you still have to rent a car, because no one wants to cab it for a half hour. Since no rental cars have had mileage caps since the mid-1970s, who cares how far you have to drive to get there? No one cool.
3--This one might be a stretch, so I'm putting it at number 3. Vail=skiing. Skiers=outdoorsy people. Outdoorsy people=people who love the environment (not in a creeps way...just in an "I appreciate trees and blackbirds" way). Large jets=bad for the environment. Also, loud.
I don't think they're attracting the right kind of people with this tag line.
Now I know SOMEONE out there is saying "Ha ha Shannon...you're an a-hole...you're thinking and talking about that ad, and that's EXACTLY what they wanted!"
My answer: "No. No. No. Because of this ad alone, I will never take a vacation to Vail, and will openly ridicule any one of my friends who ever do. I'm not joking." It'll go like this: "Wow, Vail, huh? 30 minutes from the airport? That's really nice, because you GOTTA be close to an airport when you want to get away! There's nothing quite like hitting the slopes and breathing in the crisp Colorado air and jet fumes. I LOVE looking out from the ski lift and seeing nature's lofty peaks and British Airways flight 2318. Can't WAIT for you to BE THERE!!"
Third ad I LOVE:
I was in Hawaii on Fall Travel, it was a morning talk show local car commercial, and in a perfect Hawaiian accent, the guy said: "What is this, a Hyundai? Same thing as a Korean Lexus."
It's science. I'll take it.
Friday, February 25, 2011
resolution
Dear Shannon:
Thank you for your email response.
We received your request for zipper pull, and we want to let you know that we will be sending it by regular mail. You should receive it within the next 10-14 business days.
We appreciate this opportunity to be of service.
Sincerely,
Andrea Baker
Consumer Relations Representative
000804738K
SUCK IT TREBEK.
Thanks, but I'm still changing allegiance to Tumi.
PS: In regards to...
http://theishtibuy.blogspot.com/2011/02/heres-something-im-never-ever-buying.html
Thank you for your email response.
We received your request for zipper pull, and we want to let you know that we will be sending it by regular mail. You should receive it within the next 10-14 business days.
We appreciate this opportunity to be of service.
Sincerely,
Andrea Baker
Consumer Relations Representative
000804738K
SUCK IT TREBEK.
Thanks, but I'm still changing allegiance to Tumi.
PS: In regards to...
http://theishtibuy.blogspot.com/2011/02/heres-something-im-never-ever-buying.html
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Schmudget
This budget is killing me softly!
Not really that dramatic, but still...I liked life more before it. I mean, I might sleep a little better, but I miss buying a bunch of stuff I love all the tiiimmmeee!!!
It has been interesting, though, to see so many cases-ins-points that I had no idea what I was spending on things.
Case in point...I am $24 away from my monthly eating out budget. It's the 16th. Damn it.
Case in point...$80 on gas a month isn't enough. I'm about to get my third tank this month. Worst! Think of the shoes I'm not buying because of this!
Case in point...groceries can be expensive. I exceeded that budget this month, but I knew it would happen, because I hadn't stocked up on the essentials since...I don't know...August? Mistake!
Because of those cases-ins-points case in point...I'm not using my tiny but delightful clothes/shoes budget on clothes/shoes this month...because I've already used it at the grocery store and gas station.
I'm like 65 years old.
Can't wait to get used to this...and to adjust the budget so it actually works.
That dollar is NEVER gonna get finished!!!
Not really that dramatic, but still...I liked life more before it. I mean, I might sleep a little better, but I miss buying a bunch of stuff I love all the tiiimmmeee!!!
It has been interesting, though, to see so many cases-ins-points that I had no idea what I was spending on things.
Case in point...I am $24 away from my monthly eating out budget. It's the 16th. Damn it.
Case in point...$80 on gas a month isn't enough. I'm about to get my third tank this month. Worst! Think of the shoes I'm not buying because of this!
Case in point...groceries can be expensive. I exceeded that budget this month, but I knew it would happen, because I hadn't stocked up on the essentials since...I don't know...August? Mistake!
Because of those cases-ins-points case in point...I'm not using my tiny but delightful clothes/shoes budget on clothes/shoes this month...because I've already used it at the grocery store and gas station.
I'm like 65 years old.
Can't wait to get used to this...and to adjust the budget so it actually works.
That dollar is NEVER gonna get finished!!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Here's something I'm never, ever buying
A Samsonite suitcase.
And the worst part is that I LOVE SAMSONITE SUITCASES.
The saga begin-eth: I have traveled for work for seven years...maybe eight...I actually don't remember for sure...but for a while. I enjoy parts of it, but overall, I am tired of traveling for work. It's at its worst the few weeks leading up to travel, when I fall into what I call "Travel Lurgy (travelurgy)" (because it really is highly infectious, since I'm generally a huge downer), and I don't want to talk about leaving, prepare for leaving or even think about leaving.
This fall, that came back to bite me because I had a big trip in November, for which I needed to invest in a new suitcase, as I had to throw my old reliable suitcase of two years away, because it had been "handled" by baggage handlers one too many times. Because of the Luuuuurrrggyyyyy, I literally forgot to get a suitcase. I went looking two times, and was so sad at the thought of leaving town again that I just walked out empty handed. So go time came (two days before I left), and Kate was Grate (get it?) and lent me her suitcase.
I LOVE her suitcase. Perfect size, perfect pockets, spinners (requirement), easy to lift...it's perfect. I keep almost buying one for myself, then getting too sad about it. Also, it's expensive. I think Kate got it (I always typo that to say "go tit" and I know one day I'm going to hit send without seeing it) as a gift.
I left town, I used it, it was amazing, I went home.
On the way home, the suitcase was "handled" right out of a zipper pull. I KNOW that a missing zipper pull isn't the end of the world. The zipper is still totally zip-able, and it was the big one, so there are actually two pulls, and the other one was ok.
But that's not the point...the point is that someone really kindly lent me something, and I don't want to give it back sub-par. "Thanks for being so nice, here's something not really nice in return. Have a great day." So mid/late November, I went to get this thing taken care of.
Here's how it went down: Mid November: I called Customer Service, and I was instructed to go into a Samsonite retail store to buy a replacement zipper pull. The retail store told me they don’t carry extra parts.
I checked the website for an answer, and was told that I needed to take it to a licensed Samsonite zipper repair shop. The closest one to me is in Arizona.
On November 23, I called Customer Service to see what I should do. A really nice lady emailed a list of zipper pulls to choose my replacement from. It was a PDF that looked like it was from 1988, full of pixel-ated zipper pictures and part numbers, many written by hand. None of them were in color. That was really helpful.
On November 30, I selected the piece I thought I needed, based on the largely unhelpful Xerox, and emailed back with my order. Sidenote--don't you think I should've just been able to tell them which suitcase I had, and they would have been able to tell me which zipper pulls it had?? I did. I guess that's not how it works. Un-sidenote. I received the standard "we got your email" email, that ends with a "We will get back to you with in 7 days."
One more sidenote. SEVEN DAYS?? We get back to our customers within 24 hours. Come on.
On December 7, I followed up with Customer Service, as I still hadn’t heard anything about my order, seven days later.
On December 8, I was contacted, requesting my mailing address, to which I immediately replied, and I was assured a response within seven days (again).
On December 16, I followed up with Customer Service, as I still hadn’t received any response about my order...more than seven days later.
On JANUARY 7 (more than seven days later...more than seven and seven more days later!), I was informed that my part would be sent within 10-14 business days, that I would be billed $4.50 for shipping, and “If there should be any problems in filling your request, we will contact you.” I gave them the benefit of the doubt and assumed they'd waited the full 14 days, sent the piece likely in the slowest manner possible, and that it would arrive sometime in the month.
On February 10, as I still hadn’t been contacted, I contacted Customer Service again.
Today, February 11, I received an email, letting me know that my part actually had not been shipped as promised, it was now on back order, that they didn't know when it would become available, and that in order to receive an un-matching replacement part, I would have to pay for the part, and pay $5-$7 for shipping.
SO, in a move completely out of my real character, but in this character of someone who doesn't get pushed around by mechanics and who doesn't let strange men into her hotel room at night (another story... I think I might have already told that) that I've really been working on lately, I sent the following email:
Hello—
Unfortunately, I haven’t had a working suitcase since mid-November, 2010. In my numerous contacts with Customer Service, I have been referred to many “solutions” that haven’t actually led to me receiving my part.
(Basically cut and paste all that I just told you, but more professionally)
I really love my Samsonite suitcase, and as I travel for work, I generally get great use out of it. However, working with Customer Service has been discouraging. I haven’t been able to use my suitcase since November. At that point, I was willing to pay for a replacement part for it to be usable again. However, to wait for almost three months, and to have to repeatedly reach out to Customer Service even though I was assured a response just to be told that the part that I need isn’t available, that there is no date that it will become available, and that I can receive an un-matching part, but I still have to pay for it, and that for some reason, the shipping cost is even higher, is unacceptable. Please let me know if you’re able to send me the un-matching part free of charge so that my suitcase is usable until the part I actually need is available, or if I need to file a formal complaint.
Thank you, jerks,
Just kidding about that last part.
And the worst part is that I LOVE SAMSONITE SUITCASES.
The saga begin-eth: I have traveled for work for seven years...maybe eight...I actually don't remember for sure...but for a while. I enjoy parts of it, but overall, I am tired of traveling for work. It's at its worst the few weeks leading up to travel, when I fall into what I call "Travel Lurgy (travelurgy)" (because it really is highly infectious, since I'm generally a huge downer), and I don't want to talk about leaving, prepare for leaving or even think about leaving.
This fall, that came back to bite me because I had a big trip in November, for which I needed to invest in a new suitcase, as I had to throw my old reliable suitcase of two years away, because it had been "handled" by baggage handlers one too many times. Because of the Luuuuurrrggyyyyy, I literally forgot to get a suitcase. I went looking two times, and was so sad at the thought of leaving town again that I just walked out empty handed. So go time came (two days before I left), and Kate was Grate (get it?) and lent me her suitcase.
I LOVE her suitcase. Perfect size, perfect pockets, spinners (requirement), easy to lift...it's perfect. I keep almost buying one for myself, then getting too sad about it. Also, it's expensive. I think Kate got it (I always typo that to say "go tit" and I know one day I'm going to hit send without seeing it) as a gift.
I left town, I used it, it was amazing, I went home.
On the way home, the suitcase was "handled" right out of a zipper pull. I KNOW that a missing zipper pull isn't the end of the world. The zipper is still totally zip-able, and it was the big one, so there are actually two pulls, and the other one was ok.
But that's not the point...the point is that someone really kindly lent me something, and I don't want to give it back sub-par. "Thanks for being so nice, here's something not really nice in return. Have a great day." So mid/late November, I went to get this thing taken care of.
Here's how it went down: Mid November: I called Customer Service, and I was instructed to go into a Samsonite retail store to buy a replacement zipper pull. The retail store told me they don’t carry extra parts.
I checked the website for an answer, and was told that I needed to take it to a licensed Samsonite zipper repair shop. The closest one to me is in Arizona.
On November 23, I called Customer Service to see what I should do. A really nice lady emailed a list of zipper pulls to choose my replacement from. It was a PDF that looked like it was from 1988, full of pixel-ated zipper pictures and part numbers, many written by hand. None of them were in color. That was really helpful.
On November 30, I selected the piece I thought I needed, based on the largely unhelpful Xerox, and emailed back with my order. Sidenote--don't you think I should've just been able to tell them which suitcase I had, and they would have been able to tell me which zipper pulls it had?? I did. I guess that's not how it works. Un-sidenote. I received the standard "we got your email" email, that ends with a "We will get back to you with in 7 days."
One more sidenote. SEVEN DAYS?? We get back to our customers within 24 hours. Come on.
On December 7, I followed up with Customer Service, as I still hadn’t heard anything about my order, seven days later.
On December 8, I was contacted, requesting my mailing address, to which I immediately replied, and I was assured a response within seven days (again).
On December 16, I followed up with Customer Service, as I still hadn’t received any response about my order...more than seven days later.
On JANUARY 7 (more than seven days later...more than seven and seven more days later!), I was informed that my part would be sent within 10-14 business days, that I would be billed $4.50 for shipping, and “If there should be any problems in filling your request, we will contact you.” I gave them the benefit of the doubt and assumed they'd waited the full 14 days, sent the piece likely in the slowest manner possible, and that it would arrive sometime in the month.
On February 10, as I still hadn’t been contacted, I contacted Customer Service again.
Today, February 11, I received an email, letting me know that my part actually had not been shipped as promised, it was now on back order, that they didn't know when it would become available, and that in order to receive an un-matching replacement part, I would have to pay for the part, and pay $5-$7 for shipping.
SO, in a move completely out of my real character, but in this character of someone who doesn't get pushed around by mechanics and who doesn't let strange men into her hotel room at night (another story... I think I might have already told that) that I've really been working on lately, I sent the following email:
Hello—
Unfortunately, I haven’t had a working suitcase since mid-November, 2010. In my numerous contacts with Customer Service, I have been referred to many “solutions” that haven’t actually led to me receiving my part.
(Basically cut and paste all that I just told you, but more professionally)
I really love my Samsonite suitcase, and as I travel for work, I generally get great use out of it. However, working with Customer Service has been discouraging. I haven’t been able to use my suitcase since November. At that point, I was willing to pay for a replacement part for it to be usable again. However, to wait for almost three months, and to have to repeatedly reach out to Customer Service even though I was assured a response just to be told that the part that I need isn’t available, that there is no date that it will become available, and that I can receive an un-matching part, but I still have to pay for it, and that for some reason, the shipping cost is even higher, is unacceptable. Please let me know if you’re able to send me the un-matching part free of charge so that my suitcase is usable until the part I actually need is available, or if I need to file a formal complaint.
Thank you, jerks,
Just kidding about that last part.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
an ode to this ball
This Ball
I love you like I love other things that are simple and hold my attention for long periods of time. I keep you by my phone as a distraction for angry phone calls I receive. Also, it's kick ass how all that glitter settles so quickly.
The end.
My hand is a terrifying sea serpent!!!!!
I love you like I love other things that are simple and hold my attention for long periods of time. I keep you by my phone as a distraction for angry phone calls I receive. Also, it's kick ass how all that glitter settles so quickly.
The end.
My hand is a terrifying sea serpent!!!!!
Offline shopping
More like shopping is OFFline...for me...ever...
What? I don't know. I just felt like I had to go with it.
So I haven't had my car for a full week and a day now, because something is wrong, and no one really knows what, so my "mechanic's" solution has been to just keep it and drive it around until something happens. I can't even write any more about it because it's so overwhelmingly annoying and I don't want to start swear-typing in case the kids are reading this.
But all of that to say it's nearly impossible to go shopping-in-reality without a car.
Also, I have really enjoyed all of the walking, and ALSO also, thanks to my wonderful friends for never even thinking twice when I ask them for a ride.
So I haven't purchased anything other than groceries all month. I know it's only been 10 days, but that's more than a third of this month, and a big moment for this girl. It's also been such a downer to automatically delete all of my store oriented (storiented) emails without even looking at them. I KNOW I'm missing a big apartment sale at UrbanOutfitters.com, and I just deleted without even opening a DSW email that was titled "CLEARANCE PLUS DOUBLE POINTS!", which was deflating, to say the least.
I mean, I know that happiness doesn't come from buying things, but I sure am happy when I buy things...soooo...
I'm working on it, I'm working on it.
So when I Google-imaged (one of my favorite pass times) "I'm working on it," the following three pictures came up:
Makes sense. I like it. It's my new tattoo.
Doesn't really make sense, but I like it...but really only Part Two...Part One looks fake and Park Three is too shiny...and also, those neck/shoulder muscles are so narshty...who wants to touch those?? Just imagine my painted-nail-girl-hand on that shoulder is creeping me out. Also, why do those half-men have lady names?
Doesn't make ANY sense, and I am NOT working on anything like this. I can't even say how many things I hate about this. Actually, I can. So much blue. Denim skirt. Creepily tall socks. Shoes from 1998. Sandals and socks. Picture angle from top down. There being absolutely no reason to take a picture like this. Done.
What? I don't know. I just felt like I had to go with it.
So I haven't had my car for a full week and a day now, because something is wrong, and no one really knows what, so my "mechanic's" solution has been to just keep it and drive it around until something happens. I can't even write any more about it because it's so overwhelmingly annoying and I don't want to start swear-typing in case the kids are reading this.
But all of that to say it's nearly impossible to go shopping-in-reality without a car.
Also, I have really enjoyed all of the walking, and ALSO also, thanks to my wonderful friends for never even thinking twice when I ask them for a ride.
So I haven't purchased anything other than groceries all month. I know it's only been 10 days, but that's more than a third of this month, and a big moment for this girl. It's also been such a downer to automatically delete all of my store oriented (storiented) emails without even looking at them. I KNOW I'm missing a big apartment sale at UrbanOutfitters.com, and I just deleted without even opening a DSW email that was titled "CLEARANCE PLUS DOUBLE POINTS!", which was deflating, to say the least.
I mean, I know that happiness doesn't come from buying things, but I sure am happy when I buy things...soooo...
I'm working on it, I'm working on it.
So when I Google-imaged (one of my favorite pass times) "I'm working on it," the following three pictures came up:
Makes sense. I like it. It's my new tattoo.
Doesn't really make sense, but I like it...but really only Part Two...Part One looks fake and Park Three is too shiny...and also, those neck/shoulder muscles are so narshty...who wants to touch those?? Just imagine my painted-nail-girl-hand on that shoulder is creeping me out. Also, why do those half-men have lady names?
Doesn't make ANY sense, and I am NOT working on anything like this. I can't even say how many things I hate about this. Actually, I can. So much blue. Denim skirt. Creepily tall socks. Shoes from 1998. Sandals and socks. Picture angle from top down. There being absolutely no reason to take a picture like this. Done.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
the isht I've wanted to buy...
...online...just because it's no online shopping month, I'm sure, are:
--These boots...because I love them and convinced myself I NEED flat boots...to replace the other flat boots I have...because their heel is messed up...but also, I never wear them because I like being taller than I really am...
--Coachella passes...even though they're way too expensive. Thank God they sold out.
--This new Robyn album. I LOVE IT. I love it. But even iTunes is online...ergo nokay. But really, check out Fembots. I love it.
--This new Decemberists. I haven't even heard it, but I always buy their music, and always like it.
--This V-day card for my G-ma, because I started wondering if she ever gets V-day cards and got so sad! No worries though...I'll borrow from my eating out budget to buy her a card not online.
--This V-day card for all of my friends (not Jonathan), because it's PERSONALIZE-ABLE!!! Adorbs. I don't even LIKE V-day, but I wanted to buy this, just because I can't.
--This dress for my sister-in-law, although I repeatedly vow to not buy people clothes because I know it is hard for them when they don't like it but feel like they have to wear it, then repeatedly break that vow because I think "I know OTHER people can't buy their friends clothes, but I totally got this!!", even though I'm sure I DON'T got it, because I felt like she would look awesome in this style in which I look so terrible but love, and wear it at Anthro.
--This dress, which I basically already have.
--THIS dress, because it's on sale and although I would be waaaaay too hippy in it, I love the idea of it.
--This frame, because I love it.
Aaaahhhh...I have a problem. But maybe not entirely, because I haven't bought any of it....I just want to. I had a dream about shoe shopping, and it took all that was in me (and all that was in Mindy's boots) to not go.
--These boots...because I love them and convinced myself I NEED flat boots...to replace the other flat boots I have...because their heel is messed up...but also, I never wear them because I like being taller than I really am...
--Coachella passes...even though they're way too expensive. Thank God they sold out.
--This new Robyn album. I LOVE IT. I love it. But even iTunes is online...ergo nokay. But really, check out Fembots. I love it.
--This new Decemberists. I haven't even heard it, but I always buy their music, and always like it.
--This V-day card for my G-ma, because I started wondering if she ever gets V-day cards and got so sad! No worries though...I'll borrow from my eating out budget to buy her a card not online.
--This V-day card for all of my friends (not Jonathan), because it's PERSONALIZE-ABLE!!! Adorbs. I don't even LIKE V-day, but I wanted to buy this, just because I can't.
--This dress for my sister-in-law, although I repeatedly vow to not buy people clothes because I know it is hard for them when they don't like it but feel like they have to wear it, then repeatedly break that vow because I think "I know OTHER people can't buy their friends clothes, but I totally got this!!", even though I'm sure I DON'T got it, because I felt like she would look awesome in this style in which I look so terrible but love, and wear it at Anthro.
--This dress, which I basically already have.
--THIS dress, because it's on sale and although I would be waaaaay too hippy in it, I love the idea of it.
--This frame, because I love it.
Aaaahhhh...I have a problem. But maybe not entirely, because I haven't bought any of it....I just want to. I had a dream about shoe shopping, and it took all that was in me (and all that was in Mindy's boots) to not go.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Fantasy Sports...they're like a fantasy...
...if your fantasy is a nightmare and a waste of time.
I like pretend stuff as much as the next girl who's read all seven Harry Potters about seven times each, but I sure do hate fantasy sports. The only thing worse than regular sports is fantasy sports, and that includes gambling your rent money away on sports.
Yes, I'd rather you gamble away all of your rent money than spend five seconds telling me anything about your fantasy sports team, or league, or whatever. At least when you gamble, something actually happens.
Come on. What other real things have fantasy counterparts? I mean, at least Dungeons and Dragons has dragons.
My brother said that last line...I just really liked it. But seriously--do you all like that the best comparison anyone has to fantasy sports is Dungeons and Dragons???
"Falcour...I choose you to play for the 49ers offense this week...and I give you the power of banishing darkness and a sword with the strength of 10 on touchdown scoring!"
Ha ha...it's real clear that I don't even understand real sports (or Dungeons and Dragons) based on that sentence alone. I really tried on that one. But SERIOUSLY...seriously...nothing is more annoying than being with more than one person who are in some "league" together, and hearing them talk about their fake teams, and their fake points, and how mad they are that something really happened in a real game, and how that ruined their fake game.
I mean, just talk about the real game!! At least I can Google that to follow along and contribute.
There is nothing that anyone NOT in that league can contribute to that conversation. "Yeah, when real Eli Manning ran all of those real yards, my fake Eli Manning was so pissed, because he wasn't supposed to run that much in my fake game...arg..."
I'm convinced that it's just a reason for people who aren't in other exclusive groups to be exclusive. "Oh sorry, you can't comment, because you aren't in my league...hopefully I can find a spot for you next year...start brainstorming about your clever team name...No Punt Intended is already taken, FYI."
I'm starting a Fantasy House of Representative league.
"Damn it! I had Chu signing off on the adoption of the Peters Amendment on Tuesday, not Thursday, and that the bill to reduce Federal spending by terminating taxpayer financing of presidential election campaigns would be HE 357, not HR 359. At least I picked Rodney Frelinghuysen to take New Jersey's 11th district. What a wild week in my Fantasy House of Representatives league, "We the Freeple" !!!"
I was also thinking about "Rad-ify","Cam-PAIN Finance Reform" and "Bill of Wrights." But that last one would only be funny if my last name was Wright.
I like pretend stuff as much as the next girl who's read all seven Harry Potters about seven times each, but I sure do hate fantasy sports. The only thing worse than regular sports is fantasy sports, and that includes gambling your rent money away on sports.
Yes, I'd rather you gamble away all of your rent money than spend five seconds telling me anything about your fantasy sports team, or league, or whatever. At least when you gamble, something actually happens.
Come on. What other real things have fantasy counterparts? I mean, at least Dungeons and Dragons has dragons.
My brother said that last line...I just really liked it. But seriously--do you all like that the best comparison anyone has to fantasy sports is Dungeons and Dragons???
"Falcour...I choose you to play for the 49ers offense this week...and I give you the power of banishing darkness and a sword with the strength of 10 on touchdown scoring!"
Ha ha...it's real clear that I don't even understand real sports (or Dungeons and Dragons) based on that sentence alone. I really tried on that one. But SERIOUSLY...seriously...nothing is more annoying than being with more than one person who are in some "league" together, and hearing them talk about their fake teams, and their fake points, and how mad they are that something really happened in a real game, and how that ruined their fake game.
I mean, just talk about the real game!! At least I can Google that to follow along and contribute.
There is nothing that anyone NOT in that league can contribute to that conversation. "Yeah, when real Eli Manning ran all of those real yards, my fake Eli Manning was so pissed, because he wasn't supposed to run that much in my fake game...arg..."
I'm convinced that it's just a reason for people who aren't in other exclusive groups to be exclusive. "Oh sorry, you can't comment, because you aren't in my league...hopefully I can find a spot for you next year...start brainstorming about your clever team name...No Punt Intended is already taken, FYI."
I'm starting a Fantasy House of Representative league.
"Damn it! I had Chu signing off on the adoption of the Peters Amendment on Tuesday, not Thursday, and that the bill to reduce Federal spending by terminating taxpayer financing of presidential election campaigns would be HE 357, not HR 359. At least I picked Rodney Frelinghuysen to take New Jersey's 11th district. What a wild week in my Fantasy House of Representatives league, "We the Freeple" !!!"
I was also thinking about "Rad-ify","Cam-PAIN Finance Reform" and "Bill of Wrights." But that last one would only be funny if my last name was Wright.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Ode to My Lost Keys
It's more of an homage/ode, not really a rhyme scheme/ode.
I thought you were lost forever, cay keys. I hated you for that.
Then you turned up in Mindy's boot. It made no sense, but a little sense.
Sorry about that.
Also, it was kind of nice to not have keys yesterday, because I was forced to walk to breakfast, which I should always do, then caught up on like 11 hours of TV. With keys, I FOR SURE would've gone shoe shopping, because I dreamed about shoe shopping, and it was so awesome.
(these aren't an accurate depiction of the actual keys or boots...I just went for it)
I thought you were lost forever, cay keys. I hated you for that.
Then you turned up in Mindy's boot. It made no sense, but a little sense.
Sorry about that.
Also, it was kind of nice to not have keys yesterday, because I was forced to walk to breakfast, which I should always do, then caught up on like 11 hours of TV. With keys, I FOR SURE would've gone shoe shopping, because I dreamed about shoe shopping, and it was so awesome.
(these aren't an accurate depiction of the actual keys or boots...I just went for it)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
January goal...continued after a moment of deep breaths
I needed a moment to say what I just said in that last post. Thanks.
When I Googled "Budgets Suck," nothing came up. Same results with "I Hate Budgets." I went with just "Budgets," and got this:
I don't really think it applies, unless I'm the pilgrim, and the turkey is all the food I won't be eating out again, ever, until I get like three side jobs, or a second income in the form of a another person just giving me money every month.
So I set up a monthly budget on mint.com. I recommend it...if you feel like you have to set up a budget, that is. I MORE recommend just living totally recklessly.
I mean, it was only like 2 hours ago that I was living totally recklessly as opposed to living with a budget, but I'm really missing those times.
There's a reason I waited until the 25th of the month to accomplish this month's only goal...it was mildly devastating to see how much I make vs. how much I HAVE to spend each month (like fixed things...rent...insurance...so many more etc.s...). And you can't really forget that, right? I mean, I guess time will tell, but I'm pretty sure that every time I have a totally unnecessary pair of shoes in hand at DSW, I'll just picture this budget, cry, and leave, empty-handed.
Unless they're like $11. That's in the budget.
Not like I didn't see it coming.
But to see what I have been spending on isht that should've been going to pay down student loans/car/everything was THE worst. And I'm saying it's THE worst on a night when I spent almost 10 hours traveling, didn't eat breakfast or lunch, and was conned into watching TWO basketball games (ok, not the whole games, but some of both, which counts).
I did almost cry at one point when I thought my monthly fixed expenses were more than my monthly income, but then I realized that I input the wrong income. Thank goodness.
But really...do we REALLY need car insurance? Or cars at all? I was, at one point, basically convinced that I need to sell my car, give up cable TV forever, stop going to the gym and start only eating whatever other people have leftover when I go out with them but don't order anything.
I'm ok. I'm ok?? I'm ok.
I just wish I was like...I don't know...8 again. Not really 8 though, because I can't remember if I got an allowance at 8. Actually, I wish I was like 17, before I had bills, when my parents paid for a lot of my food, and when I had bangs. But with this same salary. And without the bangs.
My bangs ratio was the same, but Zooey D is much, much cuter. Seriously. Picture braces, no makeup and less cute. And none of you have any room to say anything, because none of you knew me then. Boom and roasted.
When I Googled "Budgets Suck," nothing came up. Same results with "I Hate Budgets." I went with just "Budgets," and got this:
I don't really think it applies, unless I'm the pilgrim, and the turkey is all the food I won't be eating out again, ever, until I get like three side jobs, or a second income in the form of a another person just giving me money every month.
So I set up a monthly budget on mint.com. I recommend it...if you feel like you have to set up a budget, that is. I MORE recommend just living totally recklessly.
I mean, it was only like 2 hours ago that I was living totally recklessly as opposed to living with a budget, but I'm really missing those times.
There's a reason I waited until the 25th of the month to accomplish this month's only goal...it was mildly devastating to see how much I make vs. how much I HAVE to spend each month (like fixed things...rent...insurance...so many more etc.s...). And you can't really forget that, right? I mean, I guess time will tell, but I'm pretty sure that every time I have a totally unnecessary pair of shoes in hand at DSW, I'll just picture this budget, cry, and leave, empty-handed.
Unless they're like $11. That's in the budget.
Not like I didn't see it coming.
But to see what I have been spending on isht that should've been going to pay down student loans/car/everything was THE worst. And I'm saying it's THE worst on a night when I spent almost 10 hours traveling, didn't eat breakfast or lunch, and was conned into watching TWO basketball games (ok, not the whole games, but some of both, which counts).
I did almost cry at one point when I thought my monthly fixed expenses were more than my monthly income, but then I realized that I input the wrong income. Thank goodness.
But really...do we REALLY need car insurance? Or cars at all? I was, at one point, basically convinced that I need to sell my car, give up cable TV forever, stop going to the gym and start only eating whatever other people have leftover when I go out with them but don't order anything.
I'm ok. I'm ok?? I'm ok.
I just wish I was like...I don't know...8 again. Not really 8 though, because I can't remember if I got an allowance at 8. Actually, I wish I was like 17, before I had bills, when my parents paid for a lot of my food, and when I had bangs. But with this same salary. And without the bangs.
My bangs ratio was the same, but Zooey D is much, much cuter. Seriously. Picture braces, no makeup and less cute. And none of you have any room to say anything, because none of you knew me then. Boom and roasted.
January goal
Oh man...January's goal is accomplished. I set a budget. It was horrible. I'm super pissed to be an adult right now.
This HAS to be for the greater good, right??
This HAS to be for the greater good, right??
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Dear self,
Two things today, self. First, please stop wearing these shoes just because they are so cute. They hurt real bad, and it's the only time you've ever decided that it's not worth it to wear them, so just stop wearing them, instead of deciding not to wear them, forgetting, and wearing them again.
Second, stop leaving half-consumed mugs of coffee on your desk for days. You always forget about it until it starts smelling. Just don't do it in the first place.
Best,
Self
Second, stop leaving half-consumed mugs of coffee on your desk for days. You always forget about it until it starts smelling. Just don't do it in the first place.
Best,
Self
Friday, January 14, 2011
Touching up nail polish at work...
Completely appropriate. I mean, I have business that requires my nails look nice. Who's gonna take a girl seriously with chips?
No matter that it's sparkle nail polish.
No matter that it's sparkle nail polish.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
2011
This is THE year. I can feel it. Here's why:
I don't know. I just feel it.
New Years Resolutions
So I'm generally on the ball with these things. Not like "go me, I'm the best," but I feel like I take them seriously enough to follow through with them. Remember the No Shopping Challenge that got me into this thing in the first place?
Last year, for example, was The Year of Hugs. I can't tell you (America) how much I hate having been known as "not a hugger." Here's the reality of the shiz: I'm not a hug initiator by nature. It's just not my first thought to hug someone. Maybe it's because my fam isn't a huge hugging fam...I don't know. Who even cares why, right? But that doesn't mean I HATE hugs. Just because you don't write me a thank you note doesn't mean I think you're "not a note writer," or that you HATE thank you notes. But sometimes, you feel like you have to tell people WHY you didn't think to hug them when they got back from the big trip, and then assume that you hate hugs so much.
I don't hate hugs. I'm just a hug receiver.
Anyway, after a lifetime of people taking that to the next level, it got to be real awkward, because people would hug me, then apologize, or pre-warn other people NOT to hug me, which is even weirder. So anyway, 2010 was the Year of Hugs. I hugged the hell out of people, all in hopes to eradicate that image. It's been a few months since I've been introduced as "not a hugger," so I'm calling it at least on the road to successful.
That was an unnecessary tangent.
So 2011, I have so deemed, is the Year of Fiscal Responsibility.
What, why? Aren't you a stable, together lady?
First of all, I'm not a lady, because I don't have kids. Second, sure, sort of, but I spend money like I'm a carefree trophy wife.
Not really, but sort of really. I'm WAY too old to not have plans or budgets or all of that stuff.
So here's the Year of deal...every month is themed with challenges in hopes that I will finish 2011 with a more mature, sustainable way of living that also doesn't rob me of all joy. Here's it:
January: The Month of the Budget.
I'm coming up with one. I don't have one already, because I'm like a child.
February: The Month of No Online Purchases.
What can I say...it brings me joy to purchase things while making a list of phone calls at work.
March: The Month of Not the Mall
No mall purchases. Blurg.
April: The Month of Eating Out Once a Week
Again...I'm a little nervous on this one. Haven't been single at 28? You don't get it.
May: The Month of Saving 1/3 of my income.
This is going to be interesting.
June: The Month of No Unnecessary and frivolous gifts.
This one sounds selfish, but one of my internal tricks when I'm trying to save money is to buy a bunch of stuff for OTHER people, because I looooove buying gifts, and I feel like somehow, it's not real spending. I'm like a child.
I'll get back to you about the rest of the month SOON. Wish me luck...or don't. I mean, I don't want to tell you how to feel.
Finally, these two images popped up when I Googled "fiscal responsibility," and I just couldn't' choose!
I don't know. I just feel it.
New Years Resolutions
So I'm generally on the ball with these things. Not like "go me, I'm the best," but I feel like I take them seriously enough to follow through with them. Remember the No Shopping Challenge that got me into this thing in the first place?
Last year, for example, was The Year of Hugs. I can't tell you (America) how much I hate having been known as "not a hugger." Here's the reality of the shiz: I'm not a hug initiator by nature. It's just not my first thought to hug someone. Maybe it's because my fam isn't a huge hugging fam...I don't know. Who even cares why, right? But that doesn't mean I HATE hugs. Just because you don't write me a thank you note doesn't mean I think you're "not a note writer," or that you HATE thank you notes. But sometimes, you feel like you have to tell people WHY you didn't think to hug them when they got back from the big trip, and then assume that you hate hugs so much.
I don't hate hugs. I'm just a hug receiver.
Anyway, after a lifetime of people taking that to the next level, it got to be real awkward, because people would hug me, then apologize, or pre-warn other people NOT to hug me, which is even weirder. So anyway, 2010 was the Year of Hugs. I hugged the hell out of people, all in hopes to eradicate that image. It's been a few months since I've been introduced as "not a hugger," so I'm calling it at least on the road to successful.
That was an unnecessary tangent.
So 2011, I have so deemed, is the Year of Fiscal Responsibility.
What, why? Aren't you a stable, together lady?
First of all, I'm not a lady, because I don't have kids. Second, sure, sort of, but I spend money like I'm a carefree trophy wife.
Not really, but sort of really. I'm WAY too old to not have plans or budgets or all of that stuff.
So here's the Year of deal...every month is themed with challenges in hopes that I will finish 2011 with a more mature, sustainable way of living that also doesn't rob me of all joy. Here's it:
January: The Month of the Budget.
I'm coming up with one. I don't have one already, because I'm like a child.
February: The Month of No Online Purchases.
What can I say...it brings me joy to purchase things while making a list of phone calls at work.
March: The Month of Not the Mall
No mall purchases. Blurg.
April: The Month of Eating Out Once a Week
Again...I'm a little nervous on this one. Haven't been single at 28? You don't get it.
May: The Month of Saving 1/3 of my income.
This is going to be interesting.
June: The Month of No Unnecessary and frivolous gifts.
This one sounds selfish, but one of my internal tricks when I'm trying to save money is to buy a bunch of stuff for OTHER people, because I looooove buying gifts, and I feel like somehow, it's not real spending. I'm like a child.
I'll get back to you about the rest of the month SOON. Wish me luck...or don't. I mean, I don't want to tell you how to feel.
Finally, these two images popped up when I Googled "fiscal responsibility," and I just couldn't' choose!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dear College Students,
Dear College Students,
This is the last time in your life that it will be a tiiiiny bit okay for you to just ignore important emails and don't do business related things because you're "too busy."
I say "okay" not because it's ACTUALLY okay, but because at this point, you can't be fired from anything for it.
Please be prepared for the rest of your life to be much harder and busier than college, and the only time "too busy" applies is when you're talking about your own well-being. For example, you'll often be "too busy" to get lunch, or "too busy" to do your own laundry, or in my case, "too busy" to go downstairs to pee. And although you might think you are, you won't be allowed to be "too busy" to meet that deadline, "too busy" to return an email, or "too busy" to drop off paperwork.
So please, be in your clubs, run your laps, study for your finals, write your papers, update your Facebooks...but be happy about it. That's not busy...it's perfect. Cherish it. CHERISH IT.
With so much love I just might die,
Shannon
This is the last time in your life that it will be a tiiiiny bit okay for you to just ignore important emails and don't do business related things because you're "too busy."
I say "okay" not because it's ACTUALLY okay, but because at this point, you can't be fired from anything for it.
Please be prepared for the rest of your life to be much harder and busier than college, and the only time "too busy" applies is when you're talking about your own well-being. For example, you'll often be "too busy" to get lunch, or "too busy" to do your own laundry, or in my case, "too busy" to go downstairs to pee. And although you might think you are, you won't be allowed to be "too busy" to meet that deadline, "too busy" to return an email, or "too busy" to drop off paperwork.
So please, be in your clubs, run your laps, study for your finals, write your papers, update your Facebooks...but be happy about it. That's not busy...it's perfect. Cherish it. CHERISH IT.
With so much love I just might die,
Shannon
Monday, December 20, 2010
It was a magical weekend
...because I found true love and got engaaaaaaaaged!!!!!
Just kidding. It was EVEN BETTER!
I like to call this one "These people are either just about to give gifts to baby Jesus or just about to get abducted by aliens."
Just kidding. It was EVEN BETTER!
I like to call this one "These people are either just about to give gifts to baby Jesus or just about to get abducted by aliens."
Monday, December 13, 2010
here's something that no one will care about
You're gonna be mad about reading this...I promise.
So they moved the Old Faithful webcam.
I don't know why, but a few clicks around the old world wide web, I found that there are a couple of other people (certainly either 90 year old tech-savvy birdwatchers, or 33 year old obese men who play World of Warcraft instead of working) are all up in arms about it too. I say "too" because I'm also all up in arms about it. I mean, this new camera does show trees where I was certain there was just a parking lot, which is good news, but how the hell am I supposed to see the bison from this far away?
But it's still so lovely there.
So, since you've made it this far (I'm assuming someone did...Mindy), let me show you:
Old camera. This one's called The Bison Returneth.
New camera. So far away. But this one is as it's entitled, It's Magic!
So lovely, but I miss the old upsies closeies camera. I still love technology, always and forever. RIP.
So they moved the Old Faithful webcam.
I don't know why, but a few clicks around the old world wide web, I found that there are a couple of other people (certainly either 90 year old tech-savvy birdwatchers, or 33 year old obese men who play World of Warcraft instead of working) are all up in arms about it too. I say "too" because I'm also all up in arms about it. I mean, this new camera does show trees where I was certain there was just a parking lot, which is good news, but how the hell am I supposed to see the bison from this far away?
But it's still so lovely there.
So, since you've made it this far (I'm assuming someone did...Mindy), let me show you:
Old camera. This one's called The Bison Returneth.
New camera. So far away. But this one is as it's entitled, It's Magic!
So lovely, but I miss the old upsies closeies camera. I still love technology, always and forever. RIP.
Friday, December 10, 2010
another reason I love the state of HI
I just read an application for a kid who's first name, in Hawaiian, means "strength," last name means "magnificent," and middle name means "fisherman."
I AM THE STRONGEST, MOST MAGNIFICENT FISHERMAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. FISH JUMP INTO MY BUCKET, AND ALL THE BONES FALL OUT OF THEM, IN ORDER.
I AM THE STRONGEST, MOST MAGNIFICENT FISHERMAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. FISH JUMP INTO MY BUCKET, AND ALL THE BONES FALL OUT OF THEM, IN ORDER.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Why...
...are those videos in the last post so huge? I hate that they go outside of the lines! I have no idea how to fix that. With my internet knowledge, I opened the blog to edit it, said "VIDEOS! SMALLEN YOURSELVES!!!"
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Here's something weird...
...you know all those flash mob videos that are the thing right now? They always make me tear up. I have no idea why. I usually can't finish them for fear of crying at my desk at work.
Some people can't handle the Folger's commercials...
...but I can't take the flash mobs.
Some people can't handle the Folger's commercials...
...but I can't take the flash mobs.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
New Years
Here's the best thing about being all the single ladies: I basically do whatever I want, whenever I want. Clearly not ALL the time, because I'm not a huge ass, but I do sort of love my own life.
Case in point: New Years. Two years ago, some lovely friends and I spent New Years in New York, last year, Chicago, and this year, I am happy to say, I just booked our place in shiny Las Vegas.
We'll be ringing in the New Year here:
...or, more specifically, here:
...but actually, probably with these guys...
...because they're performing on the Strip on New Years Eve.
Sign me up.
Sign me up for whatever I feel like at the moment...but don't put a ring on it...because then I wouldn't be signed up for as much. Unless I like the ring...different.
Right now, sign me up for dinner, because I'm stuuurrrrrving.
Case in point: New Years. Two years ago, some lovely friends and I spent New Years in New York, last year, Chicago, and this year, I am happy to say, I just booked our place in shiny Las Vegas.
We'll be ringing in the New Year here:
...or, more specifically, here:
...but actually, probably with these guys...
...because they're performing on the Strip on New Years Eve.
Sign me up.
Sign me up for whatever I feel like at the moment...but don't put a ring on it...because then I wouldn't be signed up for as much. Unless I like the ring...different.
Right now, sign me up for dinner, because I'm stuuurrrrrving.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
the kids
So every other Sunday when I'm in town, I hang out with "the kids"...more specifically, the kindergartners and 1st graders from Grace Church. I'd like to say that I do it for the greater good of helping these kids love Jesus, and that's definitely a side-effect, but really, when I'm not feeling it, the thing that gets me out of bed is that these kids are hilarious.
Best case in point: Miss Ricki T. She's five, she's sassy, and she looks a little bit like this:
So this week, we were talking about talents, so I went around the circle and asked each kid to say one thing they're good at. We went around three times, and each time, Ricki T. would say something, then just do it.
Other kid: I'm good at....soccer.
Ricki T.: I'm good at cartwheels. Look!
Other kid: I'm good at....cleaning my room.
Ricki T.: I'm good at kicking. Look!
Hilarious. I love the enthusiasm, even though I had to keep saying "Ricki, nice job, but please come back and join the circle."
Then I asked them to say one thing someone else they knew was good at. Ricki T said "My cousin is a really, really, really good rapper...he's the best rapper you've ever seen." She might be right...I mean...I haven't seen him...so I'm withholding judgment. Don't tell Jay-Z.
So at the very end, we always say a closing prayer, and I asked the kids if they had anything we should pray about. Avery said that we needed to pray for her uncle, who lost his leg (yikes--that's a lot for a five year old to have to worry about), and Ricki asked us to pray for her cousin to be a better rapper. I asked if anyone wanted to pray for the group, she volunteered, and it went like this:
"Dear gracious Jesus God, thank you for bringing us all here together. It's a blessing to be here gracious Jesus God. And gracious Jesus God, today we pray for my cousin, that he would be the best rapper in the world, and do so good, and we pray for...what's your name? Oh, we pray for Avery's uncle and his lost leg, and we hope that finds it again as soon as possible. Amen."
I LOVE other people's babies.
Best case in point: Miss Ricki T. She's five, she's sassy, and she looks a little bit like this:
So this week, we were talking about talents, so I went around the circle and asked each kid to say one thing they're good at. We went around three times, and each time, Ricki T. would say something, then just do it.
Other kid: I'm good at....soccer.
Ricki T.: I'm good at cartwheels. Look!
Other kid: I'm good at....cleaning my room.
Ricki T.: I'm good at kicking. Look!
Hilarious. I love the enthusiasm, even though I had to keep saying "Ricki, nice job, but please come back and join the circle."
Then I asked them to say one thing someone else they knew was good at. Ricki T said "My cousin is a really, really, really good rapper...he's the best rapper you've ever seen." She might be right...I mean...I haven't seen him...so I'm withholding judgment. Don't tell Jay-Z.
So at the very end, we always say a closing prayer, and I asked the kids if they had anything we should pray about. Avery said that we needed to pray for her uncle, who lost his leg (yikes--that's a lot for a five year old to have to worry about), and Ricki asked us to pray for her cousin to be a better rapper. I asked if anyone wanted to pray for the group, she volunteered, and it went like this:
"Dear gracious Jesus God, thank you for bringing us all here together. It's a blessing to be here gracious Jesus God. And gracious Jesus God, today we pray for my cousin, that he would be the best rapper in the world, and do so good, and we pray for...what's your name? Oh, we pray for Avery's uncle and his lost leg, and we hope that finds it again as soon as possible. Amen."
I LOVE other people's babies.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
AND SOME MORE THINGS
There is no theme to these things, other than the "these things happened to me while on fall travel."
--I asked a local guy for a recommendation on a place to eat (which, with Yelp, is how to guarantee good food all the time), he referred me to a pizza place, and when I asked what to order, he said "Oh man, I got this seafood pizza one time, with scallops and stuff...total west coast...but it made me really sick...like...I was on the toilet all night." Cool...so...what should I order?
--at the big Honolulu College Fair, a girl came to my table to fill out a college grid, and in looking at her paper from her last table, which was the Paul Mitchell School, she'd checked "yes" that they had her major of interest, which was, in her words, "color hairing."
--same college fair, direct quote: "How much people is enrolled in you guys?"
--high school visit, written in caps, in pencil, on a Drug Free is the Way to Be poster: "IF YOU SPEAK OUT YOU WILL GET LIFE."
And now, some photos.
"Hey, want to get a coffee?"
"Sure, but I have a baby shower later, and I have a really large gift with a giant stuffed dog. Someone will likely steal it if they see it unattended."
"No worries, just bring it in to Starbucks, and we'll put it between us for safekeeping."
"I keep losing my cell phone in my purse. What should I do?"
"I think you should clip it to your belt."
"That's way too far from my face."
"Hey man, what are you up to?"
"Just watching the crucifixion and drinking my Jamba Juice at the mall."
"Dear Bangkok, We're a local Hawaiian Thai Restaurant, and we're looking for your vote."
And this, my friends, is fricking fried spam musubi. Spam musubi is my favorite island treat...it's just spam, usually cooked in teriyaki and sticky rice wrapped in sea weed, and this, my favorite restaurant on Maui, decided to fry it. IT'S AMAZING. It's amazing. I'm so happy about it.
And by far the weirdest part of my last few days...
I am approached out of the blue by boys, nice or not nice, once every 250 years. This past week, it has happened three times in the exact same place by three completely crazy guys. Here's a little preview: I have a standing date whenever I go to Chicago, free coffee whenever I go to Maui, and a freestyle rap that's being recorded in my honor. But more on all of this next time, because I have to go to another high school.
--I asked a local guy for a recommendation on a place to eat (which, with Yelp, is how to guarantee good food all the time), he referred me to a pizza place, and when I asked what to order, he said "Oh man, I got this seafood pizza one time, with scallops and stuff...total west coast...but it made me really sick...like...I was on the toilet all night." Cool...so...what should I order?
--at the big Honolulu College Fair, a girl came to my table to fill out a college grid, and in looking at her paper from her last table, which was the Paul Mitchell School, she'd checked "yes" that they had her major of interest, which was, in her words, "color hairing."
--same college fair, direct quote: "How much people is enrolled in you guys?"
--high school visit, written in caps, in pencil, on a Drug Free is the Way to Be poster: "IF YOU SPEAK OUT YOU WILL GET LIFE."
And now, some photos.
"Hey, want to get a coffee?"
"Sure, but I have a baby shower later, and I have a really large gift with a giant stuffed dog. Someone will likely steal it if they see it unattended."
"No worries, just bring it in to Starbucks, and we'll put it between us for safekeeping."
"I keep losing my cell phone in my purse. What should I do?"
"I think you should clip it to your belt."
"That's way too far from my face."
"Hey man, what are you up to?"
"Just watching the crucifixion and drinking my Jamba Juice at the mall."
"Dear Bangkok, We're a local Hawaiian Thai Restaurant, and we're looking for your vote."
And this, my friends, is fricking fried spam musubi. Spam musubi is my favorite island treat...it's just spam, usually cooked in teriyaki and sticky rice wrapped in sea weed, and this, my favorite restaurant on Maui, decided to fry it. IT'S AMAZING. It's amazing. I'm so happy about it.
And by far the weirdest part of my last few days...
I am approached out of the blue by boys, nice or not nice, once every 250 years. This past week, it has happened three times in the exact same place by three completely crazy guys. Here's a little preview: I have a standing date whenever I go to Chicago, free coffee whenever I go to Maui, and a freestyle rap that's being recorded in my honor. But more on all of this next time, because I have to go to another high school.
I'm almost home, and I can't believe I didn't write anything this whole time, so here's some things about traffic and the radio.
I can tell you this much...I have successfully filled every instant of time I've had out here on Fall Travel, as not to completely lose my mind. But that means I've been neglecting writing down these funny occurrences. No worries though, because I made several voice notes along the way to remember to tell you all several things.
First of all, let's just put it out there--I've been traveling in Hawaii. And it's for work.
"Wow, it must be soooo (sarcastically) hard having a job that takes you to Hawaii, I'm soooo (sarcastically) sorry."
Well, jerk, it is hard. I mean, there is no more pretty place to be completely, almost overwhelmingly busy, but really, travel out here is completely, almost overwhelmingly busy. Here's a typical day on Oahu:
--wake up between 5-6
--get ready (don't shower unless it's the third [or fourth] day)
--sit in two hours of traffic
--visit a high school
--sit in more traffic
--visit a high school
--traffic
--high school
--traffic
--high school
--find a place with free wireless
--traffic
--answer emails for a couple hours
--meet up with students/parents for interviews
--sit in after work traffic
--college fair
--light traffic
--home
You'll notice there's no beach time in there. And yes, I have had a Saturday and one and a half Sundays here, and I've spent them doing Naz church things. I have been at the beach for a total of two hours in the 11 days I've been here. They were a good two hours.
Here's the silver lining--although I'm generally tired to the point of having to drive with the windows down, everyone here is soooooo eeefffffffffiiinnnggg nnniiiccceee...even when I'm running around like a crazy person, I love these people. I mean, I love them to the point of feeling like I could live here someday. And if it were not for the friends that so kindly let me pretend like I live with them, I'd legitimately lose my mind. They are the best, and if I were to be so lucky as to have a second set of parents, I'd fight for these guys.
And the food is so good. I want to be in a place where "salad" actually means "macaroni salad."
SOME THINGS:
Radio here, if you remember from last year, is awful. This time, in addition to playing awful music on an awful look, the DJs are really mean.
For example: the other morning, these DJs were talking about some celeb divorce, and a lady called in. I assume they thought she was going to offer her opinion about Hollywood whatever, but she was not. Here's exactly how it went down:
DJs: Hi,
---hold on hold on...this is better with a picture of them. Like most DJs, they are HILARIOUS ALL THE TIME EVEN IN PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!
DJs: Hello, [whatever radio station]?
Caller: Hey, are you guys still giving away tickets to the Holiday Concert?
DJs: Uhhh...not until 7:10.
Caller: Oh, ok. Thanks.
DJs: [hang up] Wow, someone hasn't been listening.
Of course she wasn't listening...I wouldn't have been either, if I hadn't left my iPod in my room.
But they got even meaner when a girl called in again, also not to contribute to their conversation.
DJs: Hello, [whatever radio station]?
Caller: Hello?
DJs: Hello?
Caller: Uh hi, can I request a song?
DJs: No.
Caller: ........what?
DJs: [at this point, they hear the radio in the background, at which point most DJs nicely ask the caller to turn down the radio] Oh wait oh wait, turn up your radio in the back. We want to hear ourselves.
Caller: What?
DJs: Turn up your radio!!
Caller: ...can you play Just the Way You Are?
DJs: No, we're going to sing, then listen to ourselves on your radio.
The DJs proceed to sing the first few lines of Just a Friend, then pause, listen to themselves through the caller's radio through the phone, then laugh, then hang up. I turned off the radio at this point. But I'm pretty sure I can guess how the conversation went between them:
Boy DJ: We are hilarious, and very awesome.
Girl DJ: I can't believe that young caller didn't realize that radio shows are broadcast with a slight delay, and was so stupid that she wanted to hear herself on the radio.
Boy DJ: I know. That's so basic...I learned that in Radio Show Hosting 101 at my local community college, where I got 11 units toward my AA.
Girl DJ: And to think, she wanted to call in to request a song! What a young idiot.
Boy DJ: At least we are professional morning show DJs and handled it professionally, but with utter morning show hilarity.
Girl DJ: I can only imagine the thousands of people who tune in every morning just to hear what wild antics we'll be up to next.
Boy DJ: And I'm sure they were laughing as we mocked that child for not understanding radio and for trying to request a song!
Girl DJ: They were laughing, and then laughing some more, and probably will Tweet about it later today.
Boy DJ: Truly!
Girl DJ: Let's continue to share our opinions about celebrities, and maybe someone else will try to call in with a legitimate request, and we can show them!
Boy DJ: Oh, we will show the hell out of them!
Something like that, at least.
First of all, let's just put it out there--I've been traveling in Hawaii. And it's for work.
"Wow, it must be soooo (sarcastically) hard having a job that takes you to Hawaii, I'm soooo (sarcastically) sorry."
Well, jerk, it is hard. I mean, there is no more pretty place to be completely, almost overwhelmingly busy, but really, travel out here is completely, almost overwhelmingly busy. Here's a typical day on Oahu:
--wake up between 5-6
--get ready (don't shower unless it's the third [or fourth] day)
--sit in two hours of traffic
--visit a high school
--sit in more traffic
--visit a high school
--traffic
--high school
--traffic
--high school
--find a place with free wireless
--traffic
--answer emails for a couple hours
--meet up with students/parents for interviews
--sit in after work traffic
--college fair
--light traffic
--home
You'll notice there's no beach time in there. And yes, I have had a Saturday and one and a half Sundays here, and I've spent them doing Naz church things. I have been at the beach for a total of two hours in the 11 days I've been here. They were a good two hours.
Here's the silver lining--although I'm generally tired to the point of having to drive with the windows down, everyone here is soooooo eeefffffffffiiinnnggg nnniiiccceee...even when I'm running around like a crazy person, I love these people. I mean, I love them to the point of feeling like I could live here someday. And if it were not for the friends that so kindly let me pretend like I live with them, I'd legitimately lose my mind. They are the best, and if I were to be so lucky as to have a second set of parents, I'd fight for these guys.
And the food is so good. I want to be in a place where "salad" actually means "macaroni salad."
SOME THINGS:
Radio here, if you remember from last year, is awful. This time, in addition to playing awful music on an awful look, the DJs are really mean.
For example: the other morning, these DJs were talking about some celeb divorce, and a lady called in. I assume they thought she was going to offer her opinion about Hollywood whatever, but she was not. Here's exactly how it went down:
DJs: Hi,
---hold on hold on...this is better with a picture of them. Like most DJs, they are HILARIOUS ALL THE TIME EVEN IN PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!
DJs: Hello, [whatever radio station]?
Caller: Hey, are you guys still giving away tickets to the Holiday Concert?
DJs: Uhhh...not until 7:10.
Caller: Oh, ok. Thanks.
DJs: [hang up] Wow, someone hasn't been listening.
Of course she wasn't listening...I wouldn't have been either, if I hadn't left my iPod in my room.
But they got even meaner when a girl called in again, also not to contribute to their conversation.
DJs: Hello, [whatever radio station]?
Caller: Hello?
DJs: Hello?
Caller: Uh hi, can I request a song?
DJs: No.
Caller: ........what?
DJs: [at this point, they hear the radio in the background, at which point most DJs nicely ask the caller to turn down the radio] Oh wait oh wait, turn up your radio in the back. We want to hear ourselves.
Caller: What?
DJs: Turn up your radio!!
Caller: ...can you play Just the Way You Are?
DJs: No, we're going to sing, then listen to ourselves on your radio.
The DJs proceed to sing the first few lines of Just a Friend, then pause, listen to themselves through the caller's radio through the phone, then laugh, then hang up. I turned off the radio at this point. But I'm pretty sure I can guess how the conversation went between them:
Boy DJ: We are hilarious, and very awesome.
Girl DJ: I can't believe that young caller didn't realize that radio shows are broadcast with a slight delay, and was so stupid that she wanted to hear herself on the radio.
Boy DJ: I know. That's so basic...I learned that in Radio Show Hosting 101 at my local community college, where I got 11 units toward my AA.
Girl DJ: And to think, she wanted to call in to request a song! What a young idiot.
Boy DJ: At least we are professional morning show DJs and handled it professionally, but with utter morning show hilarity.
Girl DJ: I can only imagine the thousands of people who tune in every morning just to hear what wild antics we'll be up to next.
Boy DJ: And I'm sure they were laughing as we mocked that child for not understanding radio and for trying to request a song!
Girl DJ: They were laughing, and then laughing some more, and probably will Tweet about it later today.
Boy DJ: Truly!
Girl DJ: Let's continue to share our opinions about celebrities, and maybe someone else will try to call in with a legitimate request, and we can show them!
Boy DJ: Oh, we will show the hell out of them!
Something like that, at least.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Here's something weird
Is there such thing as shopping bag hoarding?
I think I have that.
Every time I purchase something, I bring it home, hang it up, carefully refold the shopping bag, and place it, according to size, in my closet with the other shopping bags.
I reorganized them last night, and stopped counting at 100.
I just love them. I can remember a lot of what I bought in them...I like to organize them...I like to reuse them...
I am a shopping bag hoarder. I was going to throw some away, but I totally didn't.
I think I have that.
Every time I purchase something, I bring it home, hang it up, carefully refold the shopping bag, and place it, according to size, in my closet with the other shopping bags.
I reorganized them last night, and stopped counting at 100.
I just love them. I can remember a lot of what I bought in them...I like to organize them...I like to reuse them...
I am a shopping bag hoarder. I was going to throw some away, but I totally didn't.
Friday, October 29, 2010
come on anthro
Really? You mean I don't get complimentary standard shipping on orders of $150 or more at Best Buy too?
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